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First of all just know in the situation you are facing, you aren't only the one ! I am somewhat in similar kind of situation , I've school friends but I am pretty much not interested in them due to unmatched vibes and aura 😩✌🏼

Anyways , don't stop what you love to do✨ . I mean somehow take out time for focusing on your art , listening to songs , etc ., whatever you like.  And you can chat with guys here 🤠 .