Comments

Older LGBTQIA+ folk here, and I have some things to say about this that I think will really be insightful for your friend. 

> Ancient Greeks and Romans where known for being openly gay, bisexual, and lesbian (rarely where they labeled anything else). Infact even their gods where known to be part of the lgbtqia+ and they where often told stories about them being lgbtqia+. Lgbtqia+ is in many ancient religions dating far back from Christianity and their gods and people lived amongst lgbtqia+ values. This includes being polyamorous even if you look at old greek and greko-roman life styles. 

-- Romosexuality – embracing queer sex and love in Ancient times

-- Homosexuality in ancient Greece

> Transgender is a biological factor. When you are in your parents womb, estrogen is sent to the child from the mother. Typically, if the child is found to be a girl, more estrogen is sent to the baby to increase estrogen progression in the child. However, sometimes the body misses a signal and sends more estrogen to a biologically male baby. Because of these confused signals, a biological male baby is born with a biological female brain (there are small differences in biological female and biological male brains, even as small as color receptors), and ends up becoming transgender and transitioning. A biological female baby may not get enough estrogen, and then grows a biological male brain. 

-- Causes of Gender Dysphoria

> Nonbinary and genderqueer (just to use two major labels) are not new and there are many ancient people who identified with these labels, they just at the time did not have a word for these labels. Although often, these recorded cases where more for intersex individuals. These individuals have been known for centuries and where given many names. Intersex is a third, biological, nonbinary sex and gender that is naturally occurring due to a XXY/XXX/XYY chromosome occurrence. The reason why many don't see it is because most people take on either being male or female, and many parents in modern day decided based on genitalia what gender the child will be while growing up. 
--A Brief History of Nonbinary Gender: From Ancient Times to the Early Modern Period

-- Human Biology Is Not Binary

> As for her view on there being fewer feminine women, as a someone who studied digital media, gender, psychology, and sociology in college: traditional femineity is not going away. It sounds to me like her environment is making her think that these traditional values are going away. If anything, there are two major groups: traditional and modern. Traditional usually holds women to a more feminine value and men to a more traditionally masculine value. Modernism is where we break into masculine women, masculine men, feminine women, feminine men, and androgynous. Yes, it is not like the 1950's where every woman is feminine to the extreme, but there are still plenty of feminine women in the world. 

All of that to say, please be who you are and do not let her effect you and who you are. You are valid, from one demi-girl to another you are completely valid. As a bisexual, although I know you don't identify with that label, you are also valid in your sexuality. Your gender identity and sexuality are yours to own, they cannot be defined by anyone else. I know it can be very pressuring to have someone like that around you, but maybe showing her some facts will make her understand that gender is not just male/female and sexuality is not just straight. 

I am sending you ALL MY POSITIVE VIBES, and please remember you're VALID!

it's really hard to have a friend that doesn't understand how you feel about yourself and what others might feel. if you are comfortable with it you could bring up how her comments are making you feel. even if her values make it difficult to understand queer identity and gender identity, if she's a kind person she should understand that her words can be hurtful. it's okay to disagree but if her words are hurting you then that is not okay. don't ever feel ashamed of your identity and your sexuality :)

Just because she's usually a sweet person doesn't mean she can't have terrible and hurtful takes. If what she says hurt you, that you've talked to her about it and that she doesn't listen/doesn't change, then she might not be as sweet as you think she is.

Don't be ashamed of who you are because of what she says, you're free to be whoever you want to be as long as you're not harming anyone, if anything, she should be ashamed of herself for making her "friend" feel that way about themselves.

it's a tough situation I hope you'll be able to fix things with her!

-bora

I'm really sorry to hear you had to go through that with someone. That is completely unacceptable behavior on your part, and I hope things either get better between you two or you can part ways peacefully.