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hey, i believe in u, and its even better that u believe in urself too. the 1st step to change is at least being aware of whats wrong, everything after is (no sugar coating) difficult. iv been working on myself too and i know exactly how u feel, like u might just be stuck like this. we wont.ย 
"I've been thinking about myself, talking to myself in my mind, taking all the time for myself as I can, and I still need to work on everything more.

See my therapist more, read books about controlling myself, study things online."
thats like REALLY good already. i know its annoying to hear this but deadass just keep doing that. the more aware u are of urself, the more u can change. ur old friends dont matter now, if they arent willing to stay at the worst of it, why the hell should they deserve to see u now? and watch u grow? and other people WILL influence u, positive AND/OR negative, its a huge possibility that they were part of the issue. i remember when i was doing horrribleee and looking back now, i was also surround by toxic and unhealthy people
my final say is kep doing what ur doing, u might not notice it now but u will grow, we will both grow

i hope it made sense, im sorry i jump around a lot and im sorry if i misinterpreted anything or said anything wrong or anything