Completion

This is gonna be a real downer of a read. And im still mapping out how to blog. Like the limits and what not. 

But two years ago and two days I tried to kill myself.

Is it normal to, even have a anniversary for it? Like a year back i made myself some brownies. This year I had forgotten till now. What am I supposed to do. I cant forgot because sadly thats the most eventful thing to happen to me. The most eventful thing being what was supposed to be the end of me, kinda sad. 

I remember. The only good feeling was how complete I felt. The way the glow n the dark stars blurred when I was falling in and out and just knowing it was over. Was bizarrely comforting. Im not suicidal by any means but I want to feel again.

Iv been in a trance I think. For a year now. Days dont feel like im living them months are forgotten. I thought it was still September. It's like iv been watching a trailer? Like only the best part i can remember. Im only here when I wake up and when im up at night everything eles blurs. 

I just want to feel complete again. To feel iv finish something.

If this is like against some roll ill delete so if u read this but then its gone thats why. Idk this is really downy.

Maybe ill write about something good tomorrow. Night