Crown of The Sunken King's boss roster is the most BULLSHIT thing oat

The hit video game that took part at the legendary Big Bang, the video game that explained to Alexander the Great how to be such a great king, THE HIT VIDEO GAME THAT COULD'VE SAVED ROBIN WILLIAMS FROM ENDING HIS LIFE... THE BEST, THE MOST AMAZING, THE THING NECESSARY FOR LIFE ITSELF TO FUNCTION.... DARK SOULS 2 has a whopping 3 dlcs: Crown of The Sunken King, The Old Iron King and The Ivory King

all those dlcs are relatively good and offer you a new experience with a bunch of new items, weapons, rings, spells and bosses

each of those dlcs carries around 3 bosses, where 2 are generally necessary to beat in order to "complete the dlc" and obtain the crown, with the sole exception of CoTIK (just beat Fume Knight)

however, I recently replayed the Sunken King dlc to get some upgrade materials and lemme tell u... IT'S BULLSHIT

it's good, but the bosses feel like withered myazaki wanted to troll us

my main complain of this dlc is that its boss roster is insanely wacky and full of tricks/gimmicks up its ass, so lemme adress them

first culprit is Elana, the Squalid Queen

in the lore she is the wife of the Sunken King, also being one of Manus' daughters among Nashandra, Nadalia and Alsanna, and she's the 2nd and the only other shard of Manus that you can fight, since Alsanna is a chill NPC and Nadalia... is scattered among statues named Ashen Idols

now her as a boss is... kinda lackluster

she has like 3 melee attacks and mostly relies on long range spells... yk, 3 dark orbs, dark hail, a whole mini aoe, flame swathe... and to accompany those, she can summon 3 minionws: 3 mini pigs that can be found in outside right of the mansion, 3 skeleton... OR A WHOLE ASS BOSS

she's BS cuz not only that she can have summons helping her but also long ranged attacks that can keep the tension on and can also teleport and just pressure you the entire fight

basically she's a boss who has artificial difficulty caused by her summons, since if she couldn't do it, she'd be as easy as nashandra (since they basically play the same)

now onto culprit 2: Sinh The Slumbering Dragon

unlike kalameet and midir, I GENIUNELY DESPISE THIS ASSHOLE

he was one of Shulva's city inhabitants, living in peace until a peculiar Sir Yorgh, accompanied by the Drakeblood knights, part of a cult who worships dragons, decided to attack him.The attack, however failed and Sinh, awaken from his slumb, doomed the entire city in a poison mist that drained the life of Shulva.

not only that he loves to fly around the arena (A LOT) but also has corossive skin that causes your weapons to break fast AND ALSO he can cause you toxic

unlike in ds1 and 3, toxic is incurable by any items (I think) and the only way to clean it is via caressing tears which can be accuired from Licia

now as I mentioned, I hate Sinh because his flight can drag the fight for who knows how long and also is generally pretty annoying to deal with him even on the ground

only saving graces are that his runback is basically nonexistent as it has a bonfire right outside his arena and that his boss soul weapon (yorgh's spear) is pretty cool

and finally, for the one who doomed the other souls titles with the grace of npc bossfights (micolash, halflight, sir gideon)

we got culprit 3: The Gank Squad (the official name is Afflicted Graverobber, Ancient Soldier Varg and Cerah The Old Explorer but nobody calls them like that)

the first npc bossfight in the entire fromsoft catalogue and the only optional boss in the entire dlc, this "boss" is literally just there cuz the team didn't know who to put (ig it's better than recycling Smelter Demon and Aava)

you'll have to endure an ABSOLUTELY ABYSMAL runback, filled with enemies and lizards who carry poison throwing statues in order to fight... 3 dudes

one who wears alva's set (prolly stole it, I mean his name is graverobber so it kinda explains it) and uses dual curved swords

the havel soldier of this game cuz all 3 Dark Souls need a havel

and michael cera with lucatiel's mask, a rapier and the Dragonslayer Greatbow

this boss doesn't offer anything to the lore and gameplay, serving as nothing more than an optional encounter for some upgrade materials...

thankfully they can be cheesed with ease, especially if Michael Cera embraced his inner Scott Pilgrim and fucking died cuz everyone reminded Scott that he dated a 17 yo while he was 23

so overall, this dlc's boss roster is just... shit in a kettle

maybe imma do the other dlc's boss rosters but I'll see