Cutting off my ex (long story but entertaining)

before I start pls note that these are past blog posts but I moved to this website so I'm gonna be putting the dates before each part so yall can understand the timeline more

1). Prolly gonna see my ex today...(Lots of drama) (5/21/26)

So long story short (except it's still not short) last year I broke up with my ex bc he told me that it was satanic and demonic of me to even want body mods (that wasnt the only reason that was what sent me over the edge. tbh we both rushed into a relationship and I found out too late that we were two VERY diffrent ppl but I stayed in the relationship hoping he would change). And at the beginning of the relationship I was thinking that even if he was no good I wouldn't be able to bring myself to leave (I had a very low amount of respect for myself back then) but I was so proud of myself bc I did leave. I wanted to encourage anyone who was feelig similar to me, I wanted to give encouragement to others that didnt feel confident in leaving a relationship bc of low self-worth. I made a video on youtube explaining why I left and encouraging others in a similar situation to leave as well (mind you I kept him anonymous and didnt share any personal info abt him) and this is where I went wrong, I posted it THE DAY AFTER I BROKE IT OFF WITH HIM (not my smartest moment loll) and so he found it and somehow got contact with me again and messaged me basically yelling at me to take the video down. I wanted to be petty and keep it up but since I am a Christian, I talked to God and he made me realize I need to be like Jesus in that moment and even if I didnt like it I unlisted the video (just incase any of my friends wanted to see it). A week later I got a text from my youth pastor basically telling me to take the vid down if it is still being shared (that was a whole thing bc it rlly wasnt his place to get involved but I am very close with my youth pastor and we talked and he agreed that it wasnt his place and sincerly appologized) So I figured just to be safe, I privated the video. I noticed that my ex wasn't going to church for all of this so I felt guilty that I had inadvertently damaged his relationship with God a little bit bc he wasn't coming to church. I reached out to him and we talked in person abt it. All I said was "I'm sorry things happend the way they did." I wasn't an am still not sorry about what I said abt him in the video, I wasnt mean to him in it. But I do wish things ended diffrently so that was the truth. As he was talking to me he was literally shaking and on the verge of crying. I felt terrible and despite my feelings for him in that moment I wanted to give him a hug bc even tho Im not very fond of him, I hate seeing anyone in that way. I still never appologized for what I said in the video even tho he thinks I did. But also he would say "yeah im sorry for that" or "yeah I shouldn't have done that" whenever I would bring points up. I didnt really get a clear answer for WHY he acted the way he did. I will say, he improved (barely), he no longer thinks piercings and body mods will send you to hell (wow what an acomplishment). That's abt all I can say he learned from that experience unfortunatly. But I decided that even tho I was never gonna be his friend again, I was still gonna give him a second chance at being involved in my life. Throughout that time he showed me even if he didnt explicitly say it that he wasnt sorry. A common theme with him is that he is always right and he thinks that he cant do any wrong. Whenever the topic of the video comes up he continues to insist that I cyberbullied him (its so very apparent that he has NEVER experienced an OUNCE of cyberbullying if he thinks that was cyberbullying) and he is just very self centered and selfish in general. Now this is when his younger sister get introduced. His younger sister is the opposite of him, very sweet girl, always cares for others. Unfortunatly, that's why he used and basically walked all over her to get what he wants. And before she met my sister and I she let it happen bc she didnt realize her worth. fast forward to present times, she is now more secure in herself and doesn't let him tell her what to do for him much anymore. I thank my sister mostly for that bc her and my sister have always had a special bond. But now Im  at the point where I wanna cut contact with him completely but can't bc I'm worried he will stop going to church again (now that I think of it, it's rlly not my fault if that were to happen bc It isnt like im gonna be mean abt it) or his whole family will stop talking to me (meaning no more hanging out with his sister and she may be getting used again) I felt rlly trapped. But then, my escape, my chance to cut him out COMPLETELY and still be able to talk to his sister. My parents told us that WE ARE MOVINGGGGG! Meaning I will have to go to another church anyways so I can just cut him off and hear nothing of it from him and I can still contact his sister. He doesn't know I'm gonna do this, and I felt rlly guilty that I was gonna do that bc it might be too mean. But I have tried to talk to him before abt taking accountability which had no success so it's not like I havent tried to help him realize what he did was wrong. I asked for my sister's opinion, my friend's (who is basically my sister) opinion, and my youth pastor's opinion and they all said it wasnt too mean of me. But I am not moving yet. And Me, my sister, him, and his sister are all homeschooled. And every thursday my church hosts something called "Homeschool Hangout" and my sister and I go there bc theres rlly nothing better for us to do and we enjoy hanging out with our youth pastor and my ex's sister. But he goes most of the time too. I really have to try my best at being nice to him even if I wanna cuss him out and scream at him for how he acts sometimes, I always try to think what Jesus would do and even tho sometimes I feel like I let a little bit of my anger and meaness slip out, apparantly I'm doing a great job still being kind to him according to my youth pastor. Yea there's a whole lotta stuff abt my ex and this story but that would be WAYYYYYY too long so I think this is quite enough to share rn loll

tiny update: I went and luckily he didnt talk too much but when he did he just confirmed what Im gonna be doing is the right thing. Again, very selfish and self-centered

2). This may be the last time I see my ex hopefully (5/28/26)

Ok so this requires a LOT of context that u can get on my past blog abt my ex but here’s a little update:

I am going to another homeschool hangout at the church but its most likely gonna be the last bc im going on vacation for a month and my youth pastor who runs the thing is leaving and then sometime after I’m gonna be moving. And my ex doesn’t go to the regular church service anymore bc his family im guessing is moving away from that stuff but today is the last day I will see my ex, his sister and my youth pastor for a while. It’s very sad that im not gonna be able to hang out with his sister and my youth pastor anymore but we have each other friended on roblox and I have my youth pastor’s number. But what makes this so exciting is that this may just be the very last time I see my ex. I’m finally gonna be free from him. I get to look him in his eyes and say goodbye for the very last time to him. The guy who was weaseling his way into my life, where I initially thought there was no escaping,  there’s hope. Idk if I should risk cutting him off completely while on vacation bc there’s a very very small possibility I could see him again but I might just wanna be smart and be patient for just a little bit longer before I move.

Update: It happened, he barely talked again. It was rlly fun but we had to get going. We said bye to his sister and she went pretty fast. But he lingered around for a bit when we were getting ready to leave, he does think we are friends after all(again more on that in my last blog post abt him) he tried to ask for a hug but the last time I hugged him was when I was dating him and I wanted to keep it that way. My sister (who he also thinks is his friend) and I were both like “I’m not a hugger” (which is the truth, we only are okay with hugging specific ppl) and he kept trying kinda completely ignoring our nos saying “Are you sure? It’s probably our last time seeing each other before adulthood” (yeah right) we didn’t hug him tho instead I gave him a firm handshake and said bye. It was a pretty satisfying last goodbye to him. When I walked out of the church it felt like so much weight had been lifted from my shoulders. This is the start of freedom. I’m deciding to not cut him off completely online yet bc ik he is pretty upset after all some of his only “friends” are moving away and it would not feel very good if one of them cut you off completely the same day you said goodbye. I’m gonna wait a bit till I’m officially moved. I wish him the best in life with his dreams of filmmaking and acting and I wish his sister the best and I hope she is not gonna revert to being walked over by him again but I’m still gonna stay in touch with her but as soon as I move he will be completely gone out of my life and his only memory of me is me shaking his hand and flatly saying bye and just then maybe he will reflect on what he did and how he hurt me and how it hurt me and even more that he is just the same. That likely won’t happen bc that’s usually how these stories go but I hope and pray that he gets better and has a good life. But that life will be without me in it. Goodbye.

3). I screwed up...(part three to the situation with my ex) (5/31/26):

Basically one thing yall didn’t know was that we have to communicate through Roblox bc he can’t text normally (ik it’s rlly sad but I thought I loved him so I just dealt with it but anyways nothing changed so we still talked through Roblox before I started distancing myself) but after the homeschool hangout I decided to unfriend him on my alt acc and he found out and texted my sister why I unfriended him and so I used the excuse that alt account for videos on my alt acc on my YouTube which he has made clear that he doesn’t wanna be in. So I was gonna use the excuse that I rarely use that acc except for filming vids (which isn’t a complete lie bc for the most part it’s true but that’s not why I unfriended him) But I was hoping he wouldn’t realize I was still friends with his sister on that acc. Guess what happened. HE REALIZED! He asked my sister why I was friends with her on that acc and not him and I don’t think my sister ever got back to him bc tbh I don’t know how to dig myself out of it. I might have to cut him off earlier than planned but the reason I didn’t want to so soon was bc again, he thinks we r his only friends and we r moving away. I didn’t want to hurt him even more so I was planning to wait some time so it would hurt him a little less but I think I got no other choice now. Again I’ve tried telling him how what he did and does is wrong but he refuses to take accountability and listen and learn. So yeah. Btw on my main acc on roblox for some reason I’m not in the same age group as him (which is why he had to friend my alt bc he still wanted to talk to me) but he made an alt that I haven’t unfriended yet but he didn’t even try to contact me on it so I’m just gonna escape while I still can lol.

Slight update: I just unfriended all of his accs and I realized that he has me added in group chats so I left all of those but it gives notifications when u leave and he was online so I’m scared but I have to remind myself that this is for the best for the both of us

4). Now (6/26/26): The guilt finally faded away bc I did nothing wrong. I cant be around ppl who drain me. Also again I didnt only do this for myself, I did this for his own good too bc it would be HORRIBLE if one day I snapped and crashed out on him and caused more drama than what I already kinda did. I dont hate him, I forgive him, but that doesnt mean I have to be friends with him. I genuinely wish the best for him and I hope he makes it in his dream career of being an actor and filmaker. I just had to protect myself from him bc our personalites clash and he still acted rlly self centered and selfish and I have a really hard time getting along with that. It's not like he's a bad person bc he is changing a little bit and any improvment is good but I dont need to sacrafice my well being just to make him feel good yk what I mean?