Daughter's Day

So, today is Daughter's Day, in case you were wondering. You probably weren't. But fuuuuck. I'm pretty happy I did the things i did this weekend, BUT they were not strong enough dopamine to defeat all that is my mother. I don't think anything is? Because it's hella hard to deal with someone who like I guess, loves you?...But also fucking hates all that is you too. Like if my mother had a penis, she would of been outie 5,000 like twenty years ago. But my mom is very traditional. Like before the Anne Hathaway trad wife movie, WHICH btw! Is anyone else excited about that?! 

David HATES Anne Hathaway, something about bitch face? Anne Hathaway doesn't bother me because she was a staple of my girlhood and yeah I don't have that undying love for her like Brittany Murphy because Brittany Murphy.  

So back to Daughter's Day. First step, you have to play Sims3 for like an hour. Make your body become 55% coffee in the process of that. THEN you need to make a tribute page of Lorelai Gilmore in your planner for the upcoming week. Gilmore Girls came out or was airing when I was in middle school. I hadn't reached 5'4 yet, so my body was doing some things to try not to be entirely fat but pleasantly misshapen for a couple years. It's so funny my brother experienced the same thing (must collect all pictures that prove he was not some blonde stud of 6'3 outta the box). Rachel, like most things in our childhood; evaded that trial of youth somehow? It was hard for me to watch Gilmore Girls back then because naturally I identified (or tried to) with Rory Gilmore. And like how Hannah felt about her mom, who listened to the Cranberries and probably didn't shave her armpits regularly, I was salty to have been stuck with the Hollister wearing tank-top-mom, who came to my school and later made the boys taunt me in homeroom and kind of put me on my own trial for why I wasn't blonde and big boobed like her. 

Well, anyway, IT SUCKED trying to identify with Rory. Rory was freakishly and effortlessly good at school, two hot boys liked her at once, and her mom was so fun and like wanted to be her best friend to detriment. Death to Rory; for my own personal reasons, not because of anything involving the show's lore. In my disdain for Rory, I completely forgot Lorelei is a daughter too! And way more relatable as a daughter too! Now, I can't stop watching this show. It's like Malcolm in the Middle almost ten years prior. Ima watch it till the thing breaks in my brain and I can no longer look at it anymore, because the memorization is just too strong for casual consumption anymore. 

Anyway, after Step 1 and 2 are thoroughly completed, if you're up to it, go for a 30 minute walk. Because yes, your genes are telling you you're not suppose to be 50 pounds overweight, but your busted up ovaries are fucking all that up for you, and are determined to fight against that bomb ass metabolism that wasn't suppose to give out until at least 35. After that, the gifts (from you, of course!) from your compulsive shopping endeavors should arrive promptly and are set at the door step, so fucking open 'em bitch! Then your houseboy should have a menu for lunch. Dig in, cunt! After that, make a miniature lip telephone for your dollhouse, finish the disco light, and mini vibrator. 

Then end the goddamn day with more Gilmore Girls. Cus they are your girls, and you would fall on a sword for them. 

Happy Daughter's Day, homies! 

Also, this song makes me so happy, 3 days later: