daydreaming problem:')

College starts in less than a week, and everything feels so wrong. I often find myself daydreaming instead of focusing on the things that actually matter. It has occupied such a huge part of my life. 

I know I have so much potential, but I always lose to daydreaming. During times when I could've worked on my skills or brought my ideas to life, I always end up playing music and imagining a world where things are more happy and whimsy yk!

I'm sure I do it as a way of living the teenage experience in my own way. Because in these worlds, I'm the protagonist, I get to live the life I want. I have friends that match my interests, opportunities that I wouldn't normally get, I get to be incredibly smart, and exist in worlds of fantasy.

I somehow managed to qualify for a scholarship that gives me $985 in allowance per school year, which is a lot in my country. I'm gonna take this as a sign that there is hope for me.

I've wasted most of my summer. I started daydreaming when I was 13 and I'm 18 now.

I don't think I can remove this habit, but I hope I can make enjoy it in a healthier manner instead of losing most of my time to it. I have a lot to work on, not only this problem. But, I'll do my best :)

I wrote this so that I can hopefully look back at it someday and remember the moment I finally decided enough. I don't want this to be another promise I make to myself only to forget a week later.