dear professor, and so I cried

This monday I had my oral final exam with this professor I really don't like, and it was the worst experience ever.

Started off wrong, last friday he sent a two hour video and said he was going to ask about it on monday. How many people were doing this exam as well? Just my classmate and me. I didn't watch it because I was focused on the other units of the course AND I should remind everyone that the semester had already finished. That video was sent afterwards, as new material to study.

Since I don't like my professor I started overthinking and stressing about this exam so bad, that I really couldn't get focused while studying. I cried a little just looking at my notes, I asked my older sister to help me study, I asked for advice on this website for how to.

And then comes monday, professor sends the link for the Meet on the designated time, I get messaged by another classmate, the hours stretch and stretch and I'm so sleepy because I went to bed at five am, I can't eat and I try to get my friend distracted because apparently she's having a fever and we're about to connect to the platform.

And so there he is in his tiny square on my laptop screen, staring to ask questions about the video I didn't watch but my friend did. Then two questions about the first unit which I reply to akwardly and stummering, my friend and I give answers without much conviction since we were nervous and this is our first time doing something like this.

Then professor asks about our method of study, and I get confused by this sudden question. We both reply, he says to re evalute how we study and talks and talks and talks about missing information for the next course, to get better and to pay attention, he's suddenly saying our grades and says goodnight. I said thank you, left the meeting and my eyes flew to the time in the corner of my laptop.

He had us for fifteen minutes, while last week the first classmates to have this exact oral exam had been an hour on Meet.

I immediately texted to my friend, laughing in small huffs because I can't really understand what just happened. She insults him, and I'm glad we're feeling the same way.

I stand up to tell my mom that I passed and that I'm finally on break, but then there's sudden tears in my eyes and I can't talk to her and he didn't give us the fucking opportunity to expose the subjects we had studied for long days, all because I didn't watch a stupid video and didn't give him one single answer for a question he had asked.

My friend and I say that's it, it doesn't matter, we passed and that's it, it's over, we don't have to see him again till next year, it's fucking done and my mind can finally rest, although I'm still crying at dinner.

Then the next day I feel better, my closest friend invited me to a beautiful library here in Buenos Aires and suddenly life is good, I need to take deep breaths and enjoy these weeks of peace.