denial

whoops almost put this in the wrong category

i feel like denial is driving me insane. i keep going back and forth. "ooh are we plural or are we lying?" i KNOW that obviously i can't just fake a real thing like this subconsciously, but STILL. what if it's fake? what if i lied to myself because i was, like, lonely or something? what if it's all just a "craaazy imagination"? and what if i've just lied to all of my friends by opening up about this???

i know i know. i can't fake something like this, not with how odd my experiences are. i can't just FAKE having amnesia to even myself. i can't fake the personality shift that even i the system feels. buuut what if i am?

like obviously this whole. phenomenon. i experience it as truly as i think it is. but i've lied to myself before, what if i'm lying agian? what if what if what if. who even cares lol