diary 3

i'll recap my life to the ones ive loved as if its what ive always dreamed it would be, and in a way it is. because we dream of the life we do not have until we have it, and we realize what we took for granted before. why cant i hold tight onto the things i once had whilst continuing onto my track of normality. i am not what i used to be no matter how much i long for it, and i will continue to hate what ive become and long for it all the same. ill take the eyeshadow and shape it in a continuous circle around my eye, same as my old routine, and reflect the person i used to be back in the mirror. so hold one more grin for another, and ill sit in my room and reflect on as if i am still meant to be me. for now ill pretend to be something im not and long for the hours of sitting in my text, if only the world could wait for me the way i waited for it.