hello hello hello,,,
today has been sOOOOOo stressful aaaaaah !! my mum is supposed be bed-bound but I think the lying down all day and night is getting to her,,,she decided to deep clean the entire flat,,,on the floor,,,with nerve damage in her back.
I offered her to stay as long as shes okay with living on her own again and until shes satisfied with the cleanliness of the flat but for some reason, she kept acting like we had to get everything done TODAY. one thing about me is that having to tidy up genuinely makes me suicidal. no matter how hard I try, I just cannot follow a structure or clean strategically so its all just very overwhelming, especially because my brain refuses to see progress aaaaaaaah,,,
my mum also kept wailing in pain but whenever I offered her my help, she dismissed me until she snapped at me for having to do everything herself which,,,NOT EVEN TRUE ??? I literally did most the work but after HOURS of tidying I just had to sit down and stop because I was so overwhelmed ;(( if she keeps dismissing my help and constant reminders to REST, there's not much else I can do unfortunately ;(
I dont know, being at home just reminds me of my teenage years, very unpleasant I have grown waaaaaay too fond of my own freedom :D
at like 10 pm, I went out for a walk and called my friend because I just had to GET AWAY or I wouldve lost it realistically o_0
that's it for today, I hope all of u had a great day or will still have one :D
goodnight <3
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