Okay guys I have a crush wowww, his name is Tavor and he's the prettiest boy at my school [which isn't that hard to achieve but whatever]
And I talk about him a lot, to my friends, duh I'm not telling my parents ts [I did say I was TRYING to get a date to hoco but "its hard to ask someone out" [cuz it is]]
And eventually, my friends ended up seeing what he looks like, and I quote "He's so ugly, and he's a bop?? wow."
IDK WTF A BOP IS FIRST OFF SECOND OFF YOU DONT GOTTA SAY HES UGLY ;-;
I know friends are gonna be like "your crush is so ugly brooo" as a joke/in a friend way. But like they genuinely started saying shit about him cuz he's a bop, which IDFK WHAT A BOP IS SEND HELP.
And then whenever I get happy about something, I feel like they try to shut it down and make me feel bad about myself. Its always making fun of me for something I like.
I recently got into Mumm-Ra, a UK band, and I told them about it, and once they found out its a UK band, they were like "oh my gosh bro" cuz they hate British people.
And like, I like Matt Maltese and The Smiths, which are both British artists, and they know about that, and they ALSO make fun of me for it.
And then whenever I get into something, its just..they seem disappointed?? Or disgusted? Its like damn okay if you don't like seeing me being happy about something just say that so I can shut up about it, instead of just making fun of me and making me feel uncomfortable with myself at that point.
I have a few decent friends that aren't like this, but they're online, so its just..not the same.
and..when I sit in class, without these friends that make me feel bad about myself, I realize how much I need new friends, but then I go to hang out with them, and I'm actually doing shit with them, like if it was just me all alone, I'd just pace around, or sit, during lunch. And I don't like just pacing around and sitting, I like doing shit.
and I'm trying to make friends at school that aren't these two.
but they're just..talking to me and then they forget I exist the next day.
I'm horrible at making friends.
and I can barely talk to Tavor, and I really like him.
I feel so stuck.
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