Does anyone else feel this way? (ANOTHER VENT KASJDKLAS)

ill prob delete this soon but

has someone else WANTED to be sad? like my life is great, everything is really good! but i just really want to be depressed, i want to be sad, i want to cut, i want nobody to care. Or one little thing will set me off and then im comforted, i finally get what i want. and when i get in the mood where i wanna be sad i just turn on like a vent playlist and boom im sad, once im sad i finally can cry, i finally can just let it out. i finally feel good.

could just be me i guess