dont waste life.

hey sailors! Claudia is back with yet ANOTHER BLOG!

I know, I know.. the last one was kindaaaa sad. BUT!

Papa Claudia is here to chew up some positive words and regurgitate back into your mouth like a loving mama bird would do with her young!

(someone take the metaphors away from me I CANNOT be trusted with them)

Anyway! let's get started.

in a very dark time, I attempted to kill myself. 

it was because, at the time, my grandfather was living with me and my mother, and he was very abusive.

hed scream at me, berate me, hit me.

my mom did nothing about that. never told him to stop because it was hurting me, but because he was "too loud."

I have had enough. I was going to escape from that madness.

and unfortunately, at the time, that escape was suicide.

I didnt take enough pills to kill me or make me sick, but I did feel dizzy.

I was terrified. I didnt want to die.

I had to go to the hospital, then a psyche ward.

and sometimes, people are not as lucky as me.

sometimes.. they don't survive.

it's a shame that happens..

some people commit suicide because of bullying.

or because of abusive situations.

or because they're just done with life. 

remember, if you have attempted suicide, you are not selfish for doing so. you needed help, and you didnt get it. you just reached your breaking point.

and that's okay. we all have had a moment that broke the camels back.

but.

we have to remember that those moments don't last forever.

in the words of the late icon Dolly Parton:

"If you want the rainbow, you must deal with the rain."

trust me.

if you're suicidal, or plan on committing suicide, here's advice. 

it will hurt. it will hurt very bad. I read a story on a girl who tried to overdose, and she said that she was throwing up nonstop and in pain. she had regretted her decision. 

most suicide victims regret ever trying it after they have done the things to do it.

which is sadder when you think about those who unfortunately succeeded.

think about your friends, your family, (if you have a good relationship with them), your partner(s), (if you have one), etc.

what will they think? Will they miss you? Will they care?

Just think about it before you attempt it. please.

suicide is not the answer.

okayyyyy.. very serious blog today, sailors. 

but I had this on my heart, and I LOVE talking about things that appear in my head one day.

I hope this will help those who are suicidal or plan on committing read this, and have second thoughts.

anywhoooo...

thanks for reading my blog, sailors!

Claudia signing off! 🌸