Doujinshi (Rambling)

I recently got a game called SenSuki that's essentially a coupling simulator. I get extremely embarrassed playing it but it's really fun making stories and creating content of my favorite characters.

It made me think. Sometimes I get envious seeing (fan)girls being able to express themselves. I'll write a long fanfiction about something and then delete it out of shame. Liking BL was a major guilty pleasure when I was younger, even though I didn't consume explicit content. I'm just now exploring this part of myself.

I have all these ideas in my head, but I'm unfortunately self conscious and have a deep fear of being considered cringe. And I don't mean the rawr xd 2000s sparklefur kind, I mean the ChildrensMediafan1978 on deviantart kind.

Truthfully, this stems from a deeper issue of my own sexuality. Cringe culture, or whatever you want to call it, was extremely prominent when I grew up. The "rules" of being male were also hammered into my head growing up.

I don't know how to navigate my feelings. How do I, a grown ass man, muster up the courage to write and draw (mostly) pairing content?