Dreaming about future

When I finish school and leave, I want people who aren’t part of my family from my past life to cease to exist and forget all about me 

I want to go far away and be completely on my own, and whilst I know I’ll miss people and worry, I feel I won’t be able to survive here for a few more years; if I leave, I’ll be able to truly breathe – how lovely it will be to walk down the streets and see nothing but unfamiliar faces 

That’s why I really don’t like answering to my teachers’ questions about which city I’ll be moving to after school; I don’t want them to know anything, and then see once again that they think my choice is silly and try to talk me out of it, but I don’t even want to stay in the same region where I might bump into a relative at any moment

I need to be on the other side of the country, where the only thing connecting me to them all will be a phone call late in the evening

I know I might not be able to cope, I’ll be scared, I’ll regret, I’ll miss things, and I’ll be completely confused; I understand all of this, and I don’t need other people to remind me of it – I already understand all of this, but I know I need it to finally live