ego and the entries 14: protag of every disaster

10/4 between eate 13 and eate 14, a lot of things have happened.

I smoked weed for the first time last month. it was a pleasant experience, high and kissing a cute guy in the backseat of a hotboxed mom van while listening to Weezer is probably the peak of life. a white woman on her walk probably saw us through the windows, I remember her walking by, looking suspicious.

my cute guy? last month, on the 8th, I asked him out and he said yes. we're together now and I'm still having trouble processing how sweet and loving he is to me. everything about him his perfect. he's somewhat like a perverted geek, and a bit queer, but I like him just the way he is.

earlier this month, I received a letter in the mail from harvard. I thought it was something special, but everyone I've told about it (2 of my friends) said they received it too, which makes me think it isn't as special as I thought. it's still cool, I guess, I think I just wished I was important. something about going into the medical field and some kind of convention in boston. costs a lot to go, and I'm not sure if any of my friends will go with me even if I do somehow gather enough money to attend.

my grandma lives with my dad. she's been there since the beginning of the year. I really hate my grandma. she's 91 years old. she's annoying and old. there's nothing I hate more than annoying people, and old people irritate me in a special way. combined of both of those, she's like the worst possible kind of human to be around.

my mom wants me dead. she's been yelling at me a whole lot recently, that I need to up my medicine dosage, or that I'm being disrespectful. sometimes I lay in bed at night hoping that she really does kick me out of the house, it'd be better than dealing with her for any longer. I even had a dream about it as well, running away. I lived with my boyfriend instead, and everything was so much better. I'm sick of her.

I planned a halloween party with my friends. I really only did it to hang out with my boyfriend. mom won't even let me leave the house for any kind of reason, let alone visit him. I'm excited, I haven't gone trick or treating in 4 years. we'll be matching.

thank you friendrewind, this was eate number 14