emotions

emotions have always been a weird thing for me.
i was taught to believe love was being taken care of by two parental figures when i was very young. my first memory of that "love" was my mom driving me and my siblings to her house to take us from our (then abusive, no longer abusive) dad. so love has always been a weird thing for me. my girlfriend has shown me what actual love is. someone actually caring about me.
happiness has always been weird in my family. if you showed any happiness, you'd either 
get called a weirdo or told to calm down. everybody in my family is always so negative that they think im weird for being happy or they get mad at me.
annoyance gets you told to shut up or called an idiot or a weirdo.
i've always been scared to show most of these emotions in public because i've been taught not to show them. 
so yeah, emotions are a weird thing for me.