im not really a materialist, sometimes i catch myself staring too long at other people. looked too hard and found myself dreaming of what its like to be them, imagining me who isnt really me, wearing their clothes. seeing myself as less than them, like i was a pre-evolution subhuman.
i keep thinking i just need to break out a cocoon, whatever it is. the ultimate conclusion ends at the fact that i can no longer just turn overnight. even if a small ounce of confidence is ingrained into my belief. ive always been me. there are only divided phases but how people perceive me and how i react constantly comes from me. it would be useless to try and turn into someone else
i finally understand that all these insecurities, although ineradicable completely, are caused from my own perspective. not of others. i only acknowledge their eyes on me when i see myself through them. all of these thoughts of self doubts are just projections from what ive learned with other people.
we dont shape our lives around our identities, we slowly melt into society once we get older. once we become the majority. the working people.
its impossible to not have the urge to be right and be beside other people. but we're so much brave when we recognize our uniqueness, the strengths that builds our self profile. even better when we find others that are alike.
i wish we could all find peace in self content, uninhibited by hours of media consumption, endless celebrity news scrolls, the need to be aesthetically fitting, evil face profiling, pinterest boards, egotistical echo chambers of beauty opinions and other modern mediums for idea exchange
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annieapplepies
hi, i wrote something a little lengthy and before i misunderstand the bulletin is this about authenticity and self acceptance ? just to make sure :)
yes! i was thinking about how i would feel so much content with myself when i realize that everything i went through is now a part of me, my ideal self seems so unreachable, it is unrealistic, but i will accept that fact. be whoever or make the choices i want without the need of looking for it in another place. i want to accept myself without having the need to build a different version of me
by an_yhow; ; Report
bonnie
I totally understand what you are saying & I agree. But with everything going on in the outside world and inner turmoil that everyone faces, it is very difficult to find outlets besides sitting on the internet since it is most accessible. & some people grow up without the proper growth of finding their true selves due to trauma and upbringing. Some people do need the internet to find a personality to fit in. Even though it is very sad, it should not stop you from doing what you love and what you want to do.
the internet really is a special place and while im always spending so much time on it, i wonder if theres even something truly mine outside of it when my real self only seems significant on the net. i dont think we should all stop using the internet as an outlet completely, i just hope we could find some balance between the personality we absorbed from the online world and our real selves on the outside.
its fair that some people seek their own personality within a closed and vast space but i bet if we get so much information from that very space it can overwhelm our own growth as a person and make us completely detached from reality and eventually ourselves?
i totally relate to the people you just described because im one of them too, but ive only realized recently that its only better that my identity isnt attached to anything, what suits for me defines me, i dont need anything more. i stick to whats mine, what seems to be comfortable to me, my clothes, although arent the ones i prefer, i like wearing them. and it is me, without filters, without codes.
by an_yhow; ; Report