Extremely Long Rant About My Day

I mentioned in a bulletin earlier this month that my birthday plans weren't technically on my birthday, we'd made them for the day after my birthday and so that has led to... today.

I checked multiple times this week to confirm we were still doing this today, and yesterday my mom said we should leave around 3:30. Okay. I woke up before my alarm, so I had extra time to laze around before starting my makeup. Great!

Noon, I start my makeup. Contacts in, makeup done by 1. More time to laze around! Little did I know I'd be spending a lot of time lazing around 🙃 A bit after 2:30 my mom texts me about how she's too tired. She wants to take a nap. She says we'll leave at 5:30 instead. That's upsetting... but, okay. We would be cutting it close for one of the stores I wanna go to, but I figured we'd hit that one first.

5:30 rolls around. She's not awake. Fed up, I put on my shoes and go for a walk. I walk in the rain to Walgreens, I contemplate buying a boombox, I loiter for a suspiciously long time in hopes the rain will stop, I buy a bottle of nail polish.

I get home, they've locked me out. I didn't grab my keys before leaving, so I have to bang on the door. My mom answers the door and asks me, "are you ready to go?" like she's fed up with me. Uhhh. Excuse me? I'm the one who's been waiting for hours. I'm the one whose plans have been fucked with because she didn't manage her own time well.

And the thing is, if she'd been struggling to sleep last night, she could've just texted me. I was awake at 2 AM as usual. A simple, "hey, let's reschedule," would've done wonders. I would've been upset, yeah, but I wouldn't have been sobbing-and-having-a-meltdown upset.

I don't do well with my plans being changed at the last minute. Especially because it's a waste of my time and my makeup. If my contacts are already in my eyes, it's too damn late to be changing the plans. If I've visualized the routine for the day, you can't just change it mid-routine and expect me to be okay. It's not okay! And she does this ALL THE TIME! I've completely stopped asking to go places and do things because this is what she does. And I know that I should be used to it by now, I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does bother me that she can't even set aside one day, MY BIRTHDAY, AT THAT, and make sure it goes without a hitch.

I yell at her, she yells at me, because apparently I'm an asshole for expecting my mother to care about me for one single day a year. We finally get in the car, it is past six PM. I tell her that all the stores I want to stop at are on the same road, within 2 miles of each other. It shouldn't be a big deal. I tell her, I don't know when the mall closes (usually early) so I want to go to the store there, first. She says no, her app is telling her to go to the further away store first, we'll do the store in the mall last.

I'm not happy. My makeup is ruined because I've been crying, I'm not dressed, I'm only wearing what I threw on to walk down the street. When I look like shit, I feel like shit. I wanted so badly for this to be a good day, yet here I am, and my hair isn't even styled.

Whatever, whatever. Technically the first stop was Panda Express to get a free entree, but I'm not counting that because she only did it to placate me. It wasn't in my original plan.

The real first stop is Marshalls. I don't have a birthday reward from there, I just want to look for Monster High. And I score! Sweet 1600 Cleo for $15. And an amigurumi crochet kit of Winnie the Pooh.

Next stop, Ulta. I grab a few things, she grabs a few things, we wait an absurdly long time to check out, forced to listen to some evil old bitch yell at her grandson (?) about how makeup is "for girls," and only to be told that they don't have any birthday gift items in stock. Okay. I got a new contour powder, pressed setting powder, lip gloss, (all Essence) and the Colourpop Silver Lining palette.

Next stop is Ollie's. No freebie, but I know there's Monster High there sometimes. Unfortunately my luck has run out, no Ghouls. I got a new hair straightener for $12 though.

At this point she finally checks and confirms that the store in the mall is closed. She says "we'll do that later this week," (she's lying, we won't.) so that's another freebie missed.

I ask to change plans and go to Ross. I know there's a possibility of Monster High there, too. I go in alone. Score 2! Fearbook Abby for $15! I pass up on a pair of shin-high converse because they're a little too small, but I do grab a really cute short sleeve zip-up hoodie with black and grey stripes. Very Mikey Way.

Dollar Tree is in the same plaza and I've said multiple times this week that I need new silver nail polish, so we go in there because LA Colors is always in stock, right? WRONG! Zero LA Colors nail polish in sight. What the fuck? But there's some other brand available in a few colors, and luckily one is silver. I grab 2 bottles since apparently silver nail polish is unstockable these days. I also grab some Liquid Death, which I've never tried. And a square of red velvet fabric to make gloves out of.

Our last stop—which would've been our first stop, if we'd left on time and followed MY plan—was Dutch Bros. We're there 15 minutes before they close, so we have to order at the counter. The baristas are very nice. I pick the most expensive drink I can, because it's free for my birthday. One of the baristas asks me if I have sharingan eyes, and strikes up a little convo about my contacts, asking me if I do cosplay. The other barista accidentally drops my drink and spills it, so she has to remake it 😭 I feel bad about bothering them so close to closing time, but like. Not my plan.

So, I am grateful to have gotten several cool things. But I do think my meltdown in the middle of the day was understandable. And I'm still a little sad, because ultimately I had 4 freebies planned to get today, and I ended up only getting 2, one of which wasn't even in my plans. The freebies I missed were the ones I was most excited for. :(

And if you saw my bulletin where I talked about the card game shop event, I really doubt she remembers that we even talked about that, so I don't think we're going. Whatever. Just another disappointment to add to the list, right?

I don't mean to be all mopey, and I also hate sounding like I'm bragging. I've never really enjoyed traditional birthdays, so I genuinely am happy to just get the chance to go shopping, because I don't really shop any other time in the year. I just hate it when things get fucked up, y'know? I think it's an autism thing, I don't handle change very well at all.

But anyway, my contacts have been in for 13 hours and all the crying I've done makes them float around in my eyes like little air hockey disks so it's really time that I take them out, and maybe start on my Pooh amigurumi. Peace out!