i forgot how to care about ppl

im not able to feel a genuine connection with anyone. i have friends but i dont feel like i care about them on a deep level, most of my friendships are very casual

its the same in the romantic sense, ive only ever ACTUALLY liked one person in my entire life but whenever i try something with someone else who seems reasonably decent i always lose feelings just weeks or months into the relationship. people in general tend to repel me, yet at the same time all i want is to love and be loved

i don't know how to love and its fucking up my life god i feel so lonely idk what to do