Alienated

TW: SH

Lately ive been feeling very Alienated for anyone who doesnt know what that means is when you dont feel like you belong in any group of people, everyone rejects you as theyr friend.

No matter what we do or talk about i always feel overlooked and ignored, i cut off my sentence mid way and no one realizes so i stay quiet for the whole Night and nobody notices.
Eventuelly i stop showing up to the friend group and no one ever texts me or calls me.

They dont even care about me, idk what to do, ive been crying in my room almost every day and cutting myself, its gotten so worse i stopped socialising completely and isolating myself in my room, rotting away in my bed day in and day out.

I think what contributes to it aswell is my APD (Auditory Processing Dissorder) which means i can hear noise and language but my brain cant process it, i have been in therapy for it since a young age so ive gotten better but i do mess up atleast once a day which makes everything awkward when it does happen.

And no ones tries to understand my situation, ive been in the psychiatrie a few times bcs of my whole situation, idk what to do :c