i HATE feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so ik i like JUST spawned into friendrewind (lowk tryna get into spacehey too but gimme time) and i honestly shouldnt hop on here venting but i literally have NOWHERE else to put this and i need at least sm1 to see it

for context, im lowk poly but in denial bc i dont know how to be open and public ab it but i do bring it up. lets js say its a mess in my head

so like im in this situationship that i wont disclose details ab bc we cant do that here (email me.) but like theres an obvious mutual feeling for each other and its been like this for months. but i keep longing for more connections and other connections w others even tho im HEAVILY in love with said situationship. its honestly horrible.. 

i keep finding myself searching and initiating small little interactions and flirting online but it makes me feel horrible and like im cheating???? but we're not tg???????

okay thats enough of a ramble, im leaving now!!! thank u for coming to my tedtalk byebye

(prob gna delete this when i wake up)