Having legit adult friendships with people who are mature and value you is such a gift.
I didn’t realize how stupid my old friendships were until I started focusing on the ones I have now more heavily. My old friends were so full of drama and couldn’t work through a disagreement in a mature way to save their lives. One time I told one of them that I didn’t appreciate that she was asking about my personal business behind my back, and she turned it around and made it about her. Went into the group chat and said that she doesn’t wanna talk to us anymore because we’re full of drama lol. As if that’s not the drama in itself. That was really frustrating.
Fast forward to now, I can tell my friends when I’m frustrated about something and we can just talk about it and move on.
I can also be honest about my feelings. This weekend, I hung out with a friend of mine that I haven’t really hung out with in a couple of years (I p much just check Insta messages for her!). The last time I hung out with her was at a Halloween party that she was throwing. The short version of this story is that she told me that her husband thought I didn’t like him. I was straight up with her, and I simply told her that I don’t lol🥴 She said “that’s okay, I get it” LMAO💀 He has a very intense personality that put me off a bit. Anyway lol. I apologized for making him feel that way because I was making an effort to be really nice, and I guess I wasn’t doing a good enough job, probably because I was nervous to be around several people that I didn’t know. My husband has told me that I appear to be unfriendly when I’m shy. So I reached out to her last night and asked if she wanted to meet for lunch next month with her husband so that I could give him another chance, and she said that would be great!
I’m feeling good about my choices lately😅 And it’s definitely nice to start to see the difference in how people treat me when they value me versus when they don’t. Everyone deserves to be valued, including me, even if I don’t believe that about myself. That’s what I’m trying to learn right now. I have to treat myself better so that I can find people who treat me as well as I treat myself! Cuz I’m sick of being treated like shit🤪
💖✨
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Blu
Finding good friends can really change your perspective on the world, it is honestly the best part of getting older, the 'giving a shit' phase slowly starts to fade away. I'm so glad that you were able to be honest about your feelings with your friend!
Tysm!
by Very Scary Fairy✨
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You're welcome!
by Blu; ; Report
Maeve McQueen
Your bio says you're 29, so let me say this from personal experience: when you go through menopause, it completely rewires your brain, and your "give a fuck" completely breaks down, and you realize you just have no time or mental energy for people's bullshit any more. It's like you become a whole new person. It's so liberating. That said, enjoy your youth as long as you can. Make the most of it.
That’s what I’ve heard! Looking forward to it.
by Very Scary Fairy✨
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Penderghast
This is always a good feeling! when you start letting go people who only hold you back life becomes so much better. Relationships of any kind should never feel forced or draining. I'm happy for you ^_^
Tysm!
by Very Scary Fairy✨
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Witchy Cuban Crocodile
I value you!
And i am so glad that you are learning this about friendships. I have reached that point in life where I walk away from people who don't value me or my time or who expect me to put my peace aside for them. I know that sounds narcissistic. But I would rather have a few friends where we value each other than 100s of acquaintances who don't.
And I am proud of you for giving your friend's husband a second chance. With some folks, you gave to crack the nutshell to get to the yummy insides (that sounds weird, but I hope you know what I mean). I have often been told that I am hard to get to know... my usual response is to ask if they made the effort. 80% of the time they don't.
Tysm for this response! I'm glad you're putting yourself first :)
by Very Scary Fairy✨
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You're welcome! I am glad you are, too!
by Witchy Cuban Crocodile; ; Report
Lalaa_x3
Aww thats awesome im glad u found good friends!!
Ty!
by Very Scary Fairy✨
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soyelmismisimo
distancing myself from that kind of friend group was the best decision i've ever made. i'm glad you've found your people, twin.
Thanks, twin!!
by Very Scary Fairy✨
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medeuxsa
That's awesome!! Hooray for loving choices! I'm certainly taking notes.
Put yourself first, bestie💖
by Very Scary Fairy✨
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Cysper04
I really don't know what tho say, but this one is well written and good to know that you're happy with your choices so far. :)
It's actually great to have matured friends around you that also value you.
You definitely need people like that.
Thank you!
by Very Scary Fairy✨
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No Problem. :)
by Cysper04; ; Report
Katie 🩷
I love that you were able to be open & honest with her!! And that you're willing to give her husband another chance. My husband has a very off-putting personality & people are often surprised at what comes out of his mouth lol, but they don't know him like I do & I wish people would give him more of a chance. I hope the next time goes a lot better.
Maybe someday they will!!
I do too, thank you :)
by Very Scary Fairy✨
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jamtoku
this has been one of the best parts about adulthood im ngl. I have so much more choice over the people I associate with. If somebody is behaving poorly, violating trust, doing whatever, I don't have to be around them (via school, class, etc).
Having the choice is a great way to put it. That’s something I need to remember, is that I can choose who I spend time with. I often feel like I’m just kind of stuck with who I’ve got because I want to have friends. But that’s simply not the right way to be!
by Very Scary Fairy✨
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