words that appeared in my mind a few minutes ago:
between the time i spend avoiding social interaction and the internet, i sit on sites like this just to feel some thrill
for too long after the first notification i stick around
awaiting another
not often does it come
i still wait
on every site
or app
all my zero follower accounts
-even the private ones
i guess i dislike the false interest
but also the lack of it entirely
once its been long enough without
i go away again
until the solitude is overwhelming
and the real world offers not much more
many things control my mind
until they dont
important-
until something else distracts better
or i feel i've underachieved
p.s. i’m not expecting nor desiring a specific sort of comment. i am just sharing thoughts i made readable.
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⸸⸸⸸𝕶𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖌𝖆𝐳𝖒𝖔𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖓⸸⸸⸸
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Nothing really provides the satiation you expect when things arent moving forward the way you might want. If you arent happy, all the little things become worse. When you are, those superfluous little joys that seam so wasteful are just a happy little moment passing the time and no longer carry that same poison, because you are doing the things you would be otherwise be doing.
so that little bit of fluff time online doesnt comparatively feel anywhere near as consequential. even if the feeling is usually unbearable inconsequential-ness.
They are just not important enough to hurt. we all hope to get there. when the filler is the filler and not the life.