If you have OCD I don’t want you reading this and finding a new horrible fixation so WARNING BEFORE READING!
Having OCD since I was 7 is a nightmare! These compulsions have made me cry many times! I have contamination ocd, Religious ocd, checking ocd, superstition ocd and this all stemmed from a huge fear of death as a young kid! I have another that is haunting me but I am fighting these thoughts and making sure I don’t go into the dumps again bc of it! I am honestly doing a whole lot better with calming myself! But I find myself feeling better when I tell ppl rather than keeping it in..Like I use to in which led to anxiety and panic attacks! Anyways Luce out!
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xashtonhavokx
I also have OCD! I was diagnosed with it last month...found out most of the weird things I did and all the scary thoughts I had since childhood was all because of the OCD the entire time. I have (SEVERE)health ocd, pure ocd, moral ocd, sensorimotor ocd, responsibility ocd, (mild) contamination ocd, and real event ocd, (sometimes) magical thinking...with a little splash of pocd (but not in a way where I question if I am one, but if others will misinterpret my intentions or accuse me of such crimes even though I dont have that attraction...its complicated). But yeah this fucking disorder ruined my life. It took so much time away from me because I spent all day fixating on these stupid obsessions, caused me to feel like an immense burden and carried so much guilt that I pushed the people I love away so they didn't have to be around me while I was spiraling. SO many hours of my day was dedicated to ritualistic compulsions so I would feel certainty that I or anyone I loved wasnt going to die. The fear of death is so fucking real. I am not gonna say exactly what my intrusive thoughts are in detail cause I dont want to trigger yours or give you any new themes...but I just want to say, I've been there. I dont know EXACTLY your experience bcause youre themes are different from mine, but I do understand the utter hell OCD puts you through. I am so glad that fluvoxamine worked for me...it slowed everything down a lot. I still do have flares though, and I am waiting on a call from a therapist for ERP consultation...but I hope someday you can have at least some breathing room from the unrelenting thoughts. Hopefully someday we can both be in remission/cured of this bullshit.