it’s been a pretty good week lately but simply being who I am and how I live, I don’t really get up to much and that can become a bit mundane. I get quite annoyed when people think I enjoy doing nothing and being unemployed, for truly my endless freetime is more like a black hole for motivation, ya know? I’m either called lazy or that I’m living my best life by doing nothing but I don’t believe being in a constant state of stress about the fact I’m not doing something productive is exactly blissful.
I do my video games when I can, I draw, I chat with my partner, but my goodness even if every day is different I’m still stuck here with boring familiarity. The most I can do to “put myself out there” is quite literally social media, but then I get flack for that since it’s a device. I don’t like being on tech, I truly don’t. But I can’t afford the crafts I aspire to do and I’m unable to drive myself to really get out there in the community.
It’s silly but it’s a big reason why I want a fursuit. Yes because I’m a furry and I adore my characters, but I’ve always wanted to do the silly videos and trends from the comfort of my home without showing my face. I don’t dislike my face, I just prefer privacy like that. <3
So yes, getting my paws order this week was a big step for me even if I have yet to get a form of face covering. I can do pov filming with my hands which can be fun at least! But im mainly happy it gives me something to look forward to this month since seeing Hadestown was my last “keep going” thing and now that has passed.
I wish shipping was free so I could start selling art. It seems very daunting but I would love to start small beta-test commissions to test the waters some day, just to try and make a little cash. It’s a bit of a greedy feeling when you truly find motivation to do things for the sake of getting new decor and items, but they’re my things. I love my things that are just for me. <3
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Oh my lord so it's not just me, like some people look at me like I'm lucky for getting to stay home and have constant free time since I only have 2-3 in person class days on average, but what is that free time worth if it's not spent doing something? I don't talk much about my day and hate small talk for that reason too, its the same 'go to class, come home, do homework, sleep' routine all the time with little variation that gives me basically nothing to talk about. This isn't me saying I necessarily wanna work all of the time either, I find that kinda thing to be exhausting and can contribute to my burnout, as I'm very susceptible to that kinda thing.
However it would be nice to be able to spend that time doing something productive, but without a car I can't go out and do things. Sure, I'm getting a job but that doesn't take up much time, I wanna do things like go to the library, do hangouts and volunteer work, go sight seeing, meeting people, *something*, but I don't wanna be bored and dependent on other people for everything forever, and these plastic dog toys can only give me but so much dopamine at a time.
Also I relate sm to wanting a fursuit to be able to do the trends n stuff at home but with privacy, I've wanted one for so long just to have something to do when I'm at home, my baby WILL be real someday, trust 🙏🏾
EXACTLY thank you!! I may not have classes but yes, I can definitely get how even if there are guaranteed things you have throughout your week, the time you have when you’re not doing them isn’t exactly fulfilling in feeling when there’s stuff you WISH you could be doing.
A lot of folks forget that people still crave social interactions, community, or even just doing their own thing but in public. The library, parks, shopping— all things that can be taken for granted if not done often enough. And yes, getting a job to give you something to do is a big pro and a con.
Need to work to get money to live and even afford those little dopamine boosts, but if we over work then we’re just in that cycle of mundane routine again, and personally leaving no energy to ENJOY the things you can finally afford then.
Ugh, apologies for my word vomit but I do get passionate with these things, especially when another can see themself in my ramblings, which I appreciate to know another relates <3
by Tangergulo; ; Report