i have a love-hate (mostly hate) relationship with dating apps. I tried a few different ones and the all kinda suck?? im currently back in my hinge phase and already over it again. The only likes i get are men old enough to be my dad and its honestly making me a bit uncomfy, i dont get why the algorithm even shows them my profile when i have an age limit!! its a bit frustrating.
Bumble i do like a bit more but i guess the men in my area are the issue because they simply never text back?? one time i at least managed to get a date before the guy just stopped replying. (my only win fr)
Its fine if someone is not interessted anymore but ghosting is just so so rude. Id honestly rather get rejected 🙄
has someone else made similar experiences? i seem to only hear about dating-app-love-stories and im starting to think im the problem 💀
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Joh Wra
Here some impression from an old guy (37) who used Dating Apps since he was 22:
When I used Dating Apps as a young student I never got matches. It was very frustrating. Maybe my beard was too long these days, I don't know... Also I live in a very small town (Cottbus) and even if I also looked in Berlin which is just 1,5 h away I barely never got a match.
When I was about to finish my masters (with 29 years) I got my first few matches, from which one actually turned out into a relationship. It was with an 8 year older woman from Berlin, who finally had seen something in me. Sadly her life was already very full with her two children (9 and 14) so I felt caged. I fell in love with another woman and told my girlfriend. We tried for another 3 months and than decided to quit it.
This was actually my only dating app success story (which was over okcupid - but this app is so broken now. A lot of foreign profiles there now who pretend to live nearby).
Starting from 35 I got more matches on dating Apps, most from TurnUp and I met one girl from Hinge and one from tinder.
I don't know if the problem is that people didn't use these apps earlier or if young men have not high success rates on dating apps. Somehow I had the experience that many girls want mature men and don't want to date young bachelors.
I would be very curious what you think about that problem. I was really astonished when you wrote you only get matches with guys who could be your father (which I unfortunately also almost could be).
oh mhm there is def not a lack of young men on the apps these days, i just havent had many pleasant experiences with them. Most of the ones ive seen were only interested in short term stuff or stopped replying at some point.
But the older guys i mentioned were all like 50+ and i fortunately dont have that problem on Bumble! i just ended up deleting my hinge profile 😶
And some women are def into older/more mature guys but for me id prefer someone in my age range!
by sunb3rry; ; Report
s.c.o.t.t.i.e
I am currently dating someone who I met off of Bumble and let me tell you, you are NOT the problem.
For some ungodly reason people on dating apps seem to think ghosting is the only way to let someone down instead of talking to them. I thought I was the problem until I met my current partner. Dating apps most the time have this culture that ghosting or not replying at all is the norm instead of communicating. It takes time to find someone who wants to communicate, and honestly sometimes it's best to let the people who don't want to communicate see their way out.
As for the age thing, it could be because of the area that you're in that there isn't enough people in your age range on the dating app, so it's filling in with random people who are outside of your age range to try and make up for it. Which is quite frustrating imo because there is a reason you don't want to see people outside that age range.
My partner is from out of state (he's in the state next to mine) and my honest advice if you can is to expand your distance range if you can to be a little wider. It'll be outside of what you prefer most likely, but for me at least the drive I have to take is worth it to see my partner.
Again, I will push YOU are not the problem most likely, it's just the culture of dating apps unfortunately that kinda suck sometimes. I really truly hope you find your person and I hope you start having a better experience!
thank you! its just such a shame cuz some of them seemed so nice! I have experimented with the distance a bit before but perhaps i should widen it! Good luck to you and your partner!!
by sunb3rry; ; Report
Sol
My friend just got married to a guy she met on facebook dating. He is from 8 hours away, and she only met him because the men in our city are so awful she set it to statewide ヽ( ´ー｀)ノ
Now me personally, I hate dating apps. Maybe its because the dating scene here is abysmal, and I should just do what my friend did idk
oh wow that is great, congrats to your friend! perhaps i should do that as well. I wish us both the best of luck!
by sunb3rry; ; Report
BootlegFriend
I wanna ask a genuine question cuz I've never GOT dating apps. What's stopping you from prioritizing making friends and finding love that way? Idk it feels better for forming genuine connections
ahh believe me i would prefer that 😑 i just had a bit of a difficult year so far and i was sick a lot so i couldnt go out with my friends as much! Now im back in my hometown for the summer and i dont have any friends here, they all moved away. And i dont want to go out alone! so its a bit of a mix of reasons why i redownloaded it! when i first downloaded it i was simply curios i think because i was suuuuper shy / awkward as a teen. Hope that made sense :)
by sunb3rry; ; Report