If I had known that God would let me down,
I would not have wasted all this time
just searching for the unknown.
If I had known that God would let me down,
I would have chosen happiness
over fear and despair.
If I had known that God would let me down,
I would have hung up childish dreams
and focused on myself.
And finally...
If I had known that God would let me down,
I would have been a better person
and not let piousness hold me away.
Comments
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Will
I remember feeling all of these things when I became an anti-theistic atheist. These are all legitimate feelings toward a false deity. In my case, I eventually came to embrace pantheism-- the belief that God is just a subjectivized term for Nature or the Universe-- and a pantheistic resolution to the Problem of Evil. So I no longer feel this way, except toward imposter deities like those of the Abrahamic faiths.
Kudos given
by Will; ; Report
Thank you for reading my poem 💕 I haven't heard of the term panthiesm. It is definitely something I will look into. For a while I had the thought that maybe God was playing us like the sims 🤪 but then I thought to myself. If god was good then HOW is he sitting back watching all this evil doing nothing with all the power in the universe? I just could not accept that. I have been in the process of deconstruction for a long time now and no longer consider myself a christian. Although, I would be lying if I did not admit that the hurt of my religious upbringing did not still haunt me. This poem was born out of hurt. I cannot admit my true feelings to family or my community. It is an isolating feeling. And so, this poem was born here. I truly appreciate you and anyone else taking the time to read and respond.
by Latrodectus; ; Report
X
The teachers is almost always silent during the test.
Sometimes what you percieve as being let down or punished is actually being helped, or by extension is helping others in a way that is currently beyond your vision in the moment.
Some of your statements confuse me though, you don't need God to be a good person. A person who is truly good is good regardless of circumstance, trauma and hardship. If they believe in God or not, or they be helped by God or not has no bearing on that. It's a personal choice that all should strive for, for the more that strive for it, the more earth becomes like heaven. The more that give into temptation, greed, evil, treachery, etc. The more earth becomes like hell. When your atoms go back into the environment as you decay, or simply breathe even right now; what you currently consider to be "you" lives on in parts of countless other future lifeforms. They have to live in the world you choose to create now.
So make it a good one, God or not, and God letting you down or not. 😇
Thank you 😊 What I meant by being a good person was that in my most religious time of my life I thought I was a good person, but looking back on my actions I had chosen and the way I treated others I was not a good person solely for believing in God and the "good" I thought I was doing was actually harmful. It is one of my biggest regrets.
by Latrodectus; ; Report
Forgive yourself, you are on the right path many die being stuck before they ever get to the point you are at. The best part about grace is that God recognizes your legitimate repentance and change of behavior. Just stay on the right path and help others do the same! 😇
by X; ; Report
Cysper04
I don't know what to say, but I wish you well and I wish things would go well for your life all around this year and for years to come.
I don't know, I've been going through a lot to be honest and I think I'm depressed.
I know it's my fault but as time goes by things doesn't seem to be better and I don't know if there's still a future waiting for me.
I don't know if I still should hold on and hope things are gonna magically turn out to be better for me, it's like I'm still in the quicksand and haven't been pulled out from it.
I don't know if I should still hold on and believe @Latrodectus.
Many rich people living the best life and doing such heinous things behind the scenes are living the best life while many who's playing it fair and absolutely nice people absolutely suffering physically, mentally and financially.
And many innocent children in Gaza and other places are suffering in many circumstances and many innocent people unfortunately facing unfortunate stuff that they don't deserve.
With the Epstein thing, many innocent children unfortunately going through something heinous that I don't think they even deserve,
I've asked this on many believers and some couldn't give clear cut answer while some just ended up gaslighting everyone and say we just let it happen and blamed it on all of us.
I don't know, man.
Thank you for taking the time to read my poem. I feel your hurt and your pain. It is incredibly brave of you to share your most vulnerable thoughts on a platform. I am truly in awe. If you need anyone to talk to, I am here. I don't get on very often BUT when I do, I'll be sure to take the time to read and respond. You seem like such a sweet soul. I am incredibly sorry that you are going through all of these hardships. I agree completely with everything going on in the world and all the evil that is allowed to prevail... it is so hard to see any kind of hope in this life. You are a good person and I applaud you for sharing. You are worth fighting for. Your happiness matters.
by Latrodectus; ; Report
Thanks.
by Cysper04; ; Report