Howdy friends of friendrewind. it has been a while. cutting to the chase: all my friends of many years INSIST on being friends with my abuser and refuse to stop being friends with them. am i in the wrong to be upset about it? okay now more context: they already KNOW what they have done to me and ive have shown them proof and explained of what they did to me and they very clearly know how deeply their abuse affected me, i also debunked all the rumors my abuser spread about me to them and they were shocked… but not shocked enough to really care i guess?
because trust me i am extremely upset that my friends don’t even really condemn their behavior either.. its just radio silence. am i allowed to be upset or am i just being controlling? i genuinely dont know. i’ve been told that “oh it’s just so funny how i’m in the middle of your drama” or “well you’re making me pick sides”. This isn’t drama, this was prolonged 5 year long emotional abuse that literally altered my brain.. like are you just okay with being friends with someone who abused one of your other friends… like do you even LIKE me?? 😭
i’ve really been more quiet about how upset i am, like i’ve kinda said 2 or 3 times at most like “hey this person treated me really poorly and i’m not a big fan of how you still continue to be so close with them.” like they KNOW. It even upsets me more that after i had left my abuser my friends had gotten CLOSER with them after learning what they did to me.
i’ve been grieving for a while, but i think it’s better for my mental healthy to not talk about my experiences online anymore (thus i’ve taken down a lot of my past blogs of me that mention them at all) but seriously i want some advice..
Comments
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JulytoSeptember
You SHOULD be upset. Those are not friends, they water down your abuse acting as if its a lighthearted misunderstanding and do not respect your boundaries.
Cysper04
Somebody had said it here very well, but yeah you are allowed to be upset.
I think you're better off without your friends as they're pushing you on something that's really messed you up and they're not your friends.
Don't listen to them, it's better you have at least few friends than having them.
They're not after your welfare.
But yeah, I wish you well.
eternalikon
simply put, they are not your friends. don't waste your time trying to mend something that's not worth it or possible -and don't stress about it. if someone was truly your friend, they wouldn't do something they know hurts you, or befriend a person who has hurt you. don't waste any more words, don't even give them a reason, just cut them off (stop talking/interacting with them). they should know why, and if they pretend to be ignorant about it, well, it doesn't matter anymore.