Moving to a new city!

I'm moving to a new city (and university) for second year of my studies, and i'm SOOO nervous and excited at the same time ● ﹏ ●

I'm super duper nervous because I have terrible social anxiety, and because of it, my first year ended up being absolutely terrible. I had to do high school online (medical reasons) so I had been pretty isolated for a few years, and was genuinely TERRIFIED of going to university. I somehow convinced myself it'll be a good fresh start, but.... bleh.

I ended up making deadass ZERO friends and also embarrassing the hell out of myself in the process of trying. It made me feel like the biggest loser in the world. I did actually really enjoy my degree and the campus itself though! Even if the city itself was pretty boring and lifeless.

I wasn't originally planning to move to that university, I already knew some childhood friends who went there and they both convinced me to move... but then we ended up hanging out a total of just TWO TIMES!! So I ended up going to my second choice university and a very small and run down town for pretty much nothing. Everything I was terrified of happening, ended up happening. 


So, I've decided, screw it - let's run this shit back, it's time for the REAL fresh start, and i'm doing it MY way this time. I'm super excited for a lot more reasons than I'm worried about - for example, i'm moving to a big city, the one I originally planned to move to at the start. I absolutely LOVE big cities, maybe because I grew up in a pretty small town (I guess that makes me a city mouse?)

The music scene is also one of the best in the country, which is another one of the things i'm most excited about, and with it being an actual big city, there'll be plenty of things to do and side quests to go on this time. And, who knows, I might end up meeting some cool people too. So, all in all, things are looking pretty bright for once

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

Though at the same time it also kinda feels like I somehow psyopped myself into hopemaxxing when it all felt pretty damn hopeless, and i'm just lying to myself or something.


I learned a LOT of things in first year from all the mistakes I made, so... let's call this new city and new university the REAL fresh start. That shit before was nothing more than a trial run.

I have under a month to find an apartment, sort out tuition fees and also move my stuff 5 hours away without a car or any help, which is all stressing the hell out of me - but, then again, what a privilege it is it to worry about how to finally do everything younger me wished for.

I truly never believed I would even get into university at ALL, let alone a top 10 in the country, AND do a whole ass law degree on top. The past few years absolutely SUCKED in every aspect, I felt so damn stuck for so long in every way, and somehow I found myself suddenly back on track and progressing forwards. 

As anxious and worried as I am, i'll make sure this next period of my life is so amazing it cancels out the last few years, even if I have to brute force it that way with my bare hands. Or, at least try my absolute hardest to make the most of it, as much as I possibly can. We shall see what happens!

This "short" vent turned out to be wayyy longer than it was supposed to be, my bad

thank you for reading :3