I know she's lonely, but...

My mother in law lives with me and her son. We've had her here for just shy of 3 years, and with any luck, the finish line is in sight.

She spends her days alone in the house, watching tv and hanging out with her dog. She doesn't have a car, so it's harder for her to get around, so she doesn't spend a lot of time outside of the house, and she doesn't get a lot of face to face interactions on the daily. I get that.

So when we get home, it is non-stop, word-vomit commentary at her default volume (kinda loud) and it's pretty clear she expects you to engage. And it's driving me up the walls.

We've even talked to her about how for the first hour we get home, we would like the chance to unwind and not be "on" for a little while. I know that I don't have the chance to pry my mask off if I have someone yattering at me, but it doesn't matter, because she always reverts back, or accuses my partner of being rude and mean and of snapping at her.

So, I just bear it. She doesn't have anyone to talk to all day, and I feel bad for wanting her to SHUT UP and GO AWAY.

HOWEVER! She doesn't have to be alone in the house all day if she really wanted to.

Sure, she doesn't have a car --which would make doing stuff a lot more convenient-- but she has bus passes and access to a door-to-door transportation for disabled/senior folks. Not the best, but it's transportation. She's ambulatory not a prisoner.

The senior center is a mile away (I checked) and I'm fairly certain they also offer shuttle services. They have classes on a ton of stuff happening literally every day of the week, which would allow her to get face to face contact with folks she's never met. Hell, they even have lunches!

Maybe she doesn't want to go the the senior center, which is fair. Well, the library is even closer, and they also have groups and activities and shit, and it's people of all ages.

If she wants to get out and go shopping, then she can, FFS. I understand that being on a scheduled ride makes it difficult to linger, and also being on public transport comes with bag limits. But christ, it's not like she's chained to the house just because she can't spend two hours wandering around Costco.

And I feel really bad for feeling this way. I'm not her. I'm not on a super limited income, or dealing with her levels of disability and pain, so maybe there's a reason she never really gets out.

But she could.

Originally, when she moved in, she had a broken leg. Then a shoulder replacement. Then a knee surgery. I can understand not wanting to do a whole lot of anything, and getting into the habit of just.... staying.( I fear my mom is doing the same thing, but that's for another day.)

But I think she just doesn't want to do anything unless it's 100% on her terms with whoever is helping her acquiescing to her whims. Where she goes, when she goes, for how long, etc. She takes her dog out for walks, and according to her, she takes long walks --20, 30 minutes sometimes-- so her stamina is getting good. We have a grocery store about 6 blocks away, and access to one of those rolly fold-up shopping baskets. If she wants to shop on her own time, she can cruise on down and poke around for as long or as short as she wants.

I guess I'm just venting, and I feel bad about it, because she is a person, and she's not the worst person, either. She has legitimate problems, concerns, and limitations.

It's just her "i'm helpless and trapped in the house, why won't anyone drive me around for a day so I can feel like a human being" routine is getting worn out.

You're 60 fucking years old.

Figure something out.

And get out of my house*.

*she's put all her bets on one horse, so to speak, and we're hoping it pays off. She's supposed to be out in November, per our contract. If she doesn't get into these low income apartments, I don't know what we'll do, and i don't want to be yelled at by family members again.

... I'm going to go light a candle and pray, now.