My connection to flowers

I've always had this weird obsession with plants since i was a teen i cant remember if i did when i was a kid since well those memories don't belong to me, i remember the first day i started paying attention to plants and knew to myself that it was gonna be my thing, they have a texture that nothing else can beat i like when the stems are fuzzy they feel nice going into my…well I'm not gonna go into detail today ill save it for another day. I also remember the first day plants started talking to me i was a bit scared and felt like i was loosing my mind but in a way it felt nice to hear my favorite things talking to me but it only made be destroy them sooner….but they asked for it though i don't know whether to feel guilty or not for my actions, it breaks my heart when people…well a certain one in particular kills my flowers without their consent. Would you basically call what i do to plants assisted suicide???…i mean at least they get what they wanted. That's besides the point i just hate when people kill plants and torture them for no valid reason whatsoever!!! Its so cruel….