Thinking about future

When I finish school and leave, I want people who aren’t part of my family from my past life to cease to exist in my life and forget all about me so so that they cannot get in touch with me  

I want to go far away and be completely on my own, and whilst I know I’ll miss people and worry, I feel I won’t be able to survive here for a few more years; if I leave, I’ll be able to truly breathe – how lovely it will be to walk down the streets and see nothing but unfamiliar faces 

That’s why I really don’t like answering to my teachers’ questions about which city I’ll be moving to after school; I don’t want them to know anything, and then see once again that they think my choice is silly and try to talk me out of it, but I don’t even want to stay in the same region where I might bump into a relative at any moment

I need to be on the other side of the country, where the only thing connecting me to them all will be a phone call late in the evening

I know I might not be able to cope, I’ll be scared, I’ll regret, I’ll miss things, and I’ll be completely confused; I understand all of this, and I don’t need other people to remind me of it – I already understand all of this, but I know I need it to finally live