haven't made a post in ages and unemployment is. A. CURSE. holy carp. time flies when you're too wimpy to leave the house and i reeeally need to make some sort of change instead of laying around reading or gaming. i've seen people implement their own personal curriculum to keep themselves busy and their brain active, so i might try it!! so as i try... and fail... to leave the house... i can still have something i can say i'm proud of! i really want to work around the dead / handle grief with people, i did a BTEC in health and social care because i wanted to work in a hospital setting to help people, but i'm on the spectrum and end up freaking people out no matter what i do, so i'd rather not stress me AND a patient out trying to socialise... :(. i ended up not being able to finish my last year because i was too scared and burnt out to leave the house and go to school, so i kinda silently dropped out. i was bummed out but i've had time to think and honestly i'm doing okay! well it's hard to leave the house but i left more often than before, i think working on my own terms and pace will help me get back on my feet, soo yeah. i have all the time in the world so why stress? i can start over again and again and again, it's comforting knowing i don't have to be locked in for one position for the rest of my life ^^;!
i'm thinking of making my personal curriculum surround death or any careers working near the deceased or grief stricken, because i've never actually dealt with death but i know people who have and have had really close encounters myself or with the people around me. i think getting to know death better will help me handle it better when it actually does affect me, and help me be better equipped to support others in grief. also, helps me write vampires, zombies and ghosts. super excited!!
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Starforce
So sorry you're going through a lot. I feel you on the unemployment crisis and the barely leaving the house, in the exact same boat. I am sure you could try again with any education courses you're doing. I think some people forget that sometimes you need to fail first in order to succeed later on. I got an A at college doing Computer Science this year but I failed my maths course due to my father being sectioned at the hospital 😭 doesn't help that I rushed into that course without doing the adequate preparation after not doing mathematics for years. Having failed it, I feel like I have gained some humility and also familiarity with the course structure so when or if I try again, I'll be in a better state of mind to do well.
Also don't feel like you can't do something due to other people's reactions. I am also on the spectrum and I 100% get your care for others but I think in this world where education on neurodiversity is easily accessible, people need to realise that autistic people aren't cruel or bad people just due to being uncanny but of course if you're not feeling direct patient care then you don't! It's your choice.
Also personal curriculum making is so fun. Will you be making any planners or just kinda doing it whenever you feel like it? I was planning on doing Judaism, Mathematics and Programming for mine but I haven't gotten around to starting yet as I've been in a right slump of not doing anything. I like your idea for studying death and grief, I feel like it captures both the biological processes of it but also the emotional human parts of death. Hopefully it'll be exciting and interesting for you : )
I seen this post a few days ago and I was going to post a response then but I've not had the energy to write but I knew that I had to post a reply. Again, hope life starts treating you kinder and if you ever want to talk, I'm here. Although I'm just a random person on the Internet!
you're so right! i feel like failing really gives you a new perspective, i went through a rough patch in 2023/2024 and even if my experiences were bad i'm actually really grateful because i feel a lot more resistant! things that would have bothered me and sent me to tears are easier to manage because i can just compare it to what i've already been through, it's pretty comforting to know that you've been through worse because you know you can get through whatever life's throwing at you now :D. i'm really sorry to hear about your father, nobody would be able to focus... math is so complicated already but adding on such a stressful event... i don't know the status now but you're really resilient to have gotten through that and getting such a high grade!!
i wish more people could educate themselves on neurodivergent traits as well, we've been going slightly backwards because of the sheer numberrrr of people listing these traits almost exclusive to autistic people and complaining about things we can't control because they watered down the terms with overuse T_T...
for the personal curriculum, i'm thinking of either buying a planner or whiteboard, just something physical, to mark deadlines for essays or analysis on vids/documentaries/podcasts i'll be engaging with. i want to be able to build a routine so everything doesn't feel so static all the time, so i'm thinking it'll help. i've been doing basic things like watching videos of morticians, embalmers and funeral directors to get a feel as to what their day-to-day life looks like, and it helps a lot! they talk about their experiences and thoughts on death and each has a slightly unique view. i think i picked the right topic for me :)! i hope you can get out of your slump soon, but there's no rush. move at your own pace and i'm sure it'll come back to you, because they seem like interesting topics, especially Judaism - very high potential for rabbit holes, religion goes super deep!
and thank you for your kind words,, we're strangers but that makes every interaction feel more special to me ^^. people want community but refuse to reach out to strangers, or act disinterested and refuse to engage when someone comes up to them... every interaction counts because nothing beats feeling seen and heard by another person no matter how distant. like sharing a look with a stranger while waiting for the bus, or laughing with a stranger when you witness something outlandish... makes the world feel a little less lonely and cold :).
by lizzie; ; Report