He should NOT die

I figured out my problem. I'm not mad at the fact he's moving on even if it feels so soon TO me but no what I'm mad about is being lied to, n honestly now everything he ever said to me feels like a lie, there's ONE thing n that's being lied to. Does he just carve everyone's initial into his leg? Does he tell everyone that they make him feel more butterflies than his exes? Does he tell everyone he loves them? Does he tell everyone they're different? Did he ever actually love me? Was every time he said "I gotta go to sleep now." a lie? Cause everyday he said he had to go to sleep at 10 sometimes 11 but now for his "new talking stage" he has an extra hour? I'm just being weird.. I just hate the thought of lies, if you don't wanna talk to me just say so it'll hurt but not as much as lying then being online n openly playing games. I wanna stay friends because he's like an awesome person to me but you know lately I've been questioning that but anyway how can we stay friends if he won't even try? The only reason he's talked to me so far was because his "talking stage" was on a date n he was BORED? like okay but whenever I wanna play something with him he blows me off? N lies to me? I'm tired of being a backup n just accepting it, but at the same time I'm just so desperate for someone, anyone to want me whether it's platonic, or romantically, even just sexually I hate myself for that I just want to have someone whose my person n I'm their person you know? But I ruin everything. I'm glad he's doing good though I guess even if honestly I want him to be in pain