I don't mind Spoilers! (Sort of)

Something some people find odd about me is that I don't exactly mind spoilers. Well, to be exact, I'm very particular of how I get spoiled and of which thing I get spoiled about. If that makes sense??  

For example, I'm currently reading GSGW, and I've been pretty much spoiled for the entire plot up to around mid part 2, but I'm only in the beginning of part 1! The reason I don't mind these spoilers is because it makes me feel excited to reach these important plot points, and what leads up to it! 

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for shows/anime.. If I get spoiled, it sucks the fun out watching something. At least in my opinion. 

Another thing is, I have to spoil myself. I dislike it when other people spoil me on something I'm looking forward to. I don't mean something like a tiktok edit, Tumblr post, or random piece of art I come across by chance. I mean a deliberate spoil. 

Although, I am a bit contradictory of myself.. Mainly because as I said before I don't mind spoils for things I read. But I do at the same time. An example is, Turning! I'm currently in chapter 755—if I remember correctly—but I absolutely refuse to spoil myself with anything other than fanart. I want the anticipation, the feeling of not knowing what's to come. Sure, it can lead to me being frustrated at times and needing to take a break, but when I come back, that fire to know more always burns twice as bright. 

This happens to me only when I encounter a piece of media that has completely consumed my thoughts. One would think that if I truly wanted to know what happens I'd simply spoil myself, but no. When I care and love a story enough that it captures my entire being, I want nothing more than to go in blind and feel the raw emotions of figuring things out on my own. To slowly piece together plot lines as my mind gets entangled with the intense emotions caused by what I'm reading. 

It's a feeling I love to go through just as much as I hate it. To want to know something so badly, but at the same time wanting to figure it out on your own. 

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense or if I'm just yapping nonsense.. •᷄‎ࡇ•᷅