phoebe bridgers // middle school me

guys all jokes aside I literally start dancing when this comes on, Phoebe Bridgers breaks my soul and she also makes me want to scream along at the top of my lungs. i started listening to her in 6th grade and I think her music is what defined my middle school experience. i literally would not give the day a chance before blasting stranger in the alps and it would continue in my headphones all day, like no wonder i was a weirdo and the school counselor was concerned for me. 

it's okay though because character building. sometimes i feel jealous of people that never went through a stage that they later realized was just public embarrassment (i went through like 5 of said stages before becoming society trained (i have a very emotional very secret blog what am i saying i'm still in one now)) but at the same time everything i did before the concepts of performativeness and people pleasing were in my mind was the real me and i am still that awkward middle school girl and I am proud. i was not always this easy to be around or look at but that makes me sad that i had to make myself easier for the world. but that's how it goes and i'm glad i'm getting back to my roots now. 

i saw this post somewhere and it was a girl commenting on another girl's tiktok saying "she thinks she's so different" and the creator replied and said "yet we all are" and i think that puts it beautifully. i saw something else that said "how much of your online presence is performative" and someone replied "we are the mask and the wearer" and that also puts in perfectly imo. 

you are more than how society boxes up your actions in tiktok slang