The First Entry

20th of June, Saturday. (2026)

There's something so interesting about the way we all live, not just the cycle of life, how everything somehow, repeats itself.? In a way people cannot find happiness because it feels like reliving life over and over again. Is it the fear of not living life to its fullest? Or just the fear of getting older with fear of getting judged by people that have many productive things to do daily? I'm just overthinking it.. here I am thinking it's 5am still in bed, realizing it isn't even 5am at all!! Nearly 12am to be exact. 

Yet I haven't even read yet. I'm telling you, I have so much to say and do in my mind, but I don't even do anything about it. It's like my body is against my own and very will! Well whatever, I guess I should just go ahead and eat something instead of laying like a half rotten corpse on my bed. Kind of difficult getting out of bed in the morning. Especially on schooldays. My bed is a bunk bed, I'm on the top, and my dad is on the bottom. Yeah, I know. 

I share a room with my dad, hehe haha, okay. Don't get me wrong, he's pretty cool though. He always used to play video games with me. Plus, he's a retired punk. He had these crazy hairstyles as a teen, he showed me some of his pictures last year. He even tells the craziest stories about his friends. Even if he's lazy and spends most of his time in his room, he's still fun to listen to and actually buys me books and makes me drinks just like that. My mom is very different though.. I won't talk much about her now though. Maybe later? 

Damn, I couldn't go to school yesterday, it was just too much for me. I wasn't sick or anything, but that's what most people probably thought, or maybe thought I was skipping (well the second option is correct). 

My teachers are cool though, it's like listening to philosophers. It isn't an ordinary school. My class teacher, he's so full of stories and his experience is outmatched. I mean he's only 33 but I've learned so much from him already. He told us about reproductive learning once, that he was very much against it because, when people learn something for only a test and forget about it later because it's 'irrelevant', the point of actually learning something is left out. He told us, that constantly, throughout our lives, we learn, it doesn't matter what we are, but if we stay curious and learn until we're making it to our end, we'll be so much more happy, we will understand so much more. We practically grow with it. That's so much more worth than staying in one state and being happy with only one thing you learned. Stuff like this, stays in my head all the time. We're being taught empathy not just studying for a topic we'll forget in a week after a test/exam.

 Empathy is rare these days. I've recognized that, the generation itself is already cooked. It's only my opinion but I believe most kids, are just horrible. I don't generalize and I dislike generalizing because that's stupid. But I genuinely believe most kids are just meaner and more apathetic to things. I don't know how their parents raised them. I wouldn't put a device in their hands at the mere age of two. But whatever. 

Often I go outside, and I just witness the most hurtful insults, whenever people see me. I got called 'gypsy' and I don't know if it's an insult anywhere else but in my country it is a really bad insult. And the worst part was, it was two girls, they didn't look particularly fit. They laughed and said EWWW and everything. I was furious, because I am born here and I'm ethnically Austrian. That's one of the things I don't like about people. It just reminds me of so many things. 

But I have a loving best friend, we're friends for almost nine years. Elementary was horrible but at least I met her there. 

2PM: at around 12:30 I got out of bed, curious by the sweet scent of dessert flooding the kitchen. My mom made some Mochi. It was a weird combo with the seeds, I've only tried a little because I got full fast, later I started reading the Dracula book. 

Dracula attacked Renfield and during the attack where Van Helsing and Seward worked on Renfield. They found out that Jonathan and especially Mina was being terrorized by Dracula. If I didn't understand it wrong I'm pretty sure, he tried to make her his accomplice. I'm on page 417 now though. (German language and the format is bigger so yeah) 

My dad came back from buying food and finally he bought some milk because we didn't have any anymore, and I love milk A LOT. I can mix it with the jelly that I have in my fridge. It's red and in small but not too tiny bits. When you mix it with milk, it looks like a pink drink. It's really very good. I was thinking on going outside to the forest and making pictures! I have to think about it.

If I have more to say today, I'll write another entryyyy. I have so much to say but at the same time, I know nobody would ever read this. But yeahh, if anyone did, TYSM for reading this!! Love yaaa!!