RANT 0F AN UN5TABL3 B1TCH!

GOD i love being a teenage girl!! well, usually i hate it, but this week has been extraordinarily teenage girl. i was rotting in my room and going lowkey insane because of this stupid covid 2.0 type quarantine from the winter storm and feeling DISGUSTING and wanting to rip my hair out. but then i was like…wait i can look hot right now. so, i did! how easy is that? okay, well, i did spend like an hour on makeup but that’s just because i was doing all the shit i’m not allowed to do when my conservative ass parents are around. both of them were at work so i got to put on my big lashes and have thick, long eyeliner, and tightline my eyes and dark eyeshadow and EUGH i looked so fucking hot i wish i could do it again. it infuriates me so much, they’re allergic to anything alt and want me to be a docile straight submissive housewife. FUCK NO LMAOOO. it’s like, i don’t want to be a girl but like if im going to have to be a girl i’ll be the hottest girl i can be, you know? i want to have the sluttiest waist ever with tattoos all up on my hips and a haircut and god i just want to change. i have episodes like this every so often, but it hasn’t gotten this bad since summer. i think all the crazy shit that’s been going on is hitting me all at once. and it’s weird, i would’ve expected me to lose it in the sense of having another major depressive spiral, but im going manic instead, which im not complaining—it’s a lot more euphoric. listening to ayesha erotica and charlie xcx and having the time of my LIFE. hopefully by tomorrow i’ll be a little better, i have school now. i mean thank god im getting out of the house, but really? ONE day of school this week?? at that point just fucking cancel for the whole week what the fuck…it’s literally FRIDAY. so stupid. hopefully i’ll finally be able to talk to the counselors about my ex’s illegal tantrum. SIGH. so irritating, but whatever, i’m chill about that now. i have all the facts, evidence, and line of reasoning, so my case is solid. the only people that should be worrying are the people who thought they could wrong me and get away with it like??? are you stupid..? whatever. the only good thing coming out of tomorrow is i’m seeing my awesome girlfriend!!! she dyed her hair purple today, which i wasn’t expecting, and i think that made it even more amazing. the first thought i had when i saw it was the grape flavored dum dums, which were my FAV as a child. but then i was like…“waaaait…OMG PLUMS!!!” and i FUCKING LOVE PLUMS!!! AND I FUCKING LOVE MY GF!!! AND SHE HAS PLUM HAIR!!!! OMGOMGOMG!!! i almost want to just take a bite out of it she’s so pretty. did i mention i love my girlfriend? i love my girlfriend. i have a birthday party to get to tomorrow, and ofc i don’t have a ride, how embarrassing. but i get to come over to my gf’s place for a bit and get ready and she’ll drop me off at the party so yay! i’m so exciteddddd. if ur reading this, i miss u.