Boring life

Somedays are okay, but most suck. I feel like my life is getting  worse with everyday I can't stop thinking about the past technically it's not even the past, I'm barely going to be 14 but I feel like I'm doing something wrong, I have no friends, I don't even know how to talk to people, I'm currently homeschooled which is honestly the worst thing for me ever, I'm genuinely getting dumber I want my life to change, I want to change it but I have zero motivation sometimes it's hard to get out of bed I feel as if there's no point in me living anymore which might seem dark but that's the reality for me right about now, my memory is horrible and I'm pretty sure most people think I'm weird T-T maybe that's just how I see myself. How can I get better it feels like everytime I try to talk to my mom I get brushed off cause "Your life could be way worse.", Or "You act like your life is so horrible." even when I was like younger, younger it felt hard I was either being a crybaby or being spoiled because what I saw as mean and hurtful, everybody else just saw a overreacting baby maybe I do overreact