Ex-best friend wants to be friends again

My school counselor does this group therapy like thing every Mondays and Fridays and so my friend Naomi goes there and she told me today how my ex best friend Sydney turned away when my name was mentioned bcs Naomi wanted me to join them, Sydney then spoke about how she wants to try to be friends with me again and how she not sure but she talked to her mom about it as her mom encouraged it

I lowkey started to cry hearing the especially the memories rushing back so I told my friend to not tell me anymore and drop it for now  the counselor apparently is gonna try to meet with me and Sydney next Wednesday I'm also not supposed to know but Naomi told me anyways 

I've been thinking about it and I mean ofc I miss what we had we were best friends I cared for her so much but also what she did to me bullied me, spread false rumors about me, made people hate me I gave me ptsd bcs at the time I was already going through so much so I don't wanna talk to her right now I'm still scared I get anxiety feel like I'll panic when I see her or near her without my medication sometimes tho it not bad anymore thankful but I still feel it a bit i just don't know I don't hate her or wish anything bad but also I'm not ready to be close or anything I mean bring on good terms would be awesome tho yk 

We stopped being friend July 2024 so it's been a while I'm fine now I'm good, better, and awesome sauce and I'm scared that she might idk do something to that I'm scared she doesn't mean it and actually want to sabotage me again by getting me to belive she wants to fix things im not sure what I should do or say I hope someone can help me out