everyone is blaming me.

as we are going further into this divorce, my ex and i have been opening up to more people about it. hes talked to a lot of his friends about it and all of them blame me, which is understandable because theyre men and they will always defend another man. and im not saying that kisses the other guy was right either but im also tired of begging someone to change and love me the way i need. i guess them blaming it all on me does bother me a bit but when i told my family they lowkey blamed me as well. everyone told me how they feel so bad for my ex and my mom literally told my sister that i asked too much of him. and its like they dont even know. they also told me that he does so much for the baby and he cooks but its like you can be a good dad but a bad husband at the same time. does no one understand that? im hurting too and no one seems to care or take the time to understand where im coming from. like begging for 2 years for someone to love you the way you need is exhausting and im so checked out already like what do they expect from me? i guess im just tired and sad and numb and lonely. i feel so alone.