exposing myself before anyone else does but it slowly gets worse

i apologize for all of these sincerely and have thankfully gotten better (or worse and better at masking it but hey same diff)

- had a habit of spamming emojis under serious posts (tbf i was like 13)

- posted nsfw jokes somewhere that didnt allow it (forgot to read the rules)

- told someone involved in some drama about a twt group where they talked shit about a fandom wiki to cut deeper out of peer pressure (i made a dramatic-ass apology and everyone forgot)

- made an unwarranted sexual compliment towards someone in middle school (tbf i was like 11 and had no idea what social cues were but still wtf)

- implied suicide was a good thing + called someone in active crisis a "good boy" for refusing to stop (genuinely unexcusable shit but i think i was trying to shock them out of it??? + i was in a mentally stressful situation outside of that so i think that combined with the part of my brain that may or may not have symptoms of psychosis led to it)

- decided it was a good idea to use similar-sounding replacements for the n word even though im white hispanic (?????????????? im trying to delete the comments but i cant find them anymore somehow)