I've never felt so alienated in my life, my own family that is supposed to love me has turned against me. They don't invite me to anything, not even meals. They make passive aggressive comments and gestures towards me all the time. It's worse than highschool at this point. My boyfriends brother is even a dick to me. I have lost everything but my partner, and he is the only thing keeping me alive. I feel so lost and confused. Nobody in my family loves me nor wants me. I hate them for making me feel this way, for making me feel so alienated and lost.
I fucking hate my life because of them and have never felt more suicidal. And then they're surprised and punish me when I tell them about my homicidal thoughts and have manic episodes. Saying I'm a threat to them because of my self harm. I'm running away to my boyfriends house in Tennessee in 6 weeks, and I couldn't be more excited. I just want to be away from all this. I want it to stop. I'm crying as I write this because of how hurt I am. Please somebody tell me I'm not crazy. Somebody tell me I'm valid for my feelings. Somebody tell me that I don't belong in an institution because of my reactions. Please. I am begging you.
Family has turned against me and wants me gone (tw for suicidal thoughts)
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eternalikon
i don’t think it’s crazy to feel that way. i was alienated by my family, and yes, it hurts. giving advice or a positive perspective may not be the most helpful to you now, but in the time i’ve been away from them all, life has begun to feel more enjoyable, mostly. though, i do believe reaching out for some help is a good decision. it’s not being given to you by anyone else, and sometimes we can only be our own savior -but also even our own worst enemy. in some cases an outside opinion can push us toward improvement or offer options for relief. i hope you have a chance to mellow out and try to find a less temporary solution, or even something more equal to a treatment than a “cure”. i would never push for hospitalization because of some personal experiences, but if that prevents you from harming yourself or offers a way to escape/get help, then i think it’s better to be in that situation than to make irreversible or regrettable decisions based on temporary impulsivity or heated thoughts.
postaldude
I'm sorry if this sounds crazy or I shouldn't be posting here I think I need to text 988 or somehting because I just cant take it anymore