Feeling dysphoric about my name (╥﹏╥)

I don't even know how to identify how I'm feeling its like sadness and grief, like i don't hate my name and i have been confused for a boy when they only heard my name but I'm like 90% sure they misheard it as something else. Like when i introduce myself to someone my parents will never talk about me to(I'm never coming out to my family so not taking any chances) i call myself lin or lyn since people can never say my first name right (like seriously maybe five people i have met have said it right first try)so i just shortened it and lin is a dudes name so i don't hate it but i still don't feel fully comfortable with any variation of my name I've tried out or even my middle name.

I also think its grief of never having a nickname from a friend,  i went through the entirety of elementary and middle school (and was homeschooled for high school)without getting a nickname, i think nicknames are so personal to me since i gave nickname but never got one back. I always felt selfish or indignant bringing it up with my old friends, and i don't have any in real life friends right now so I've still never talked to anyone about it.

I would appreciate any advice if anyone has felt like this too.