Feeling So Horribly Drained About Religion And In Trying To Find A Way To Vent A Lot Of That Exhaustion

I've Been Working Up A Comic In My Head For A While Called "My life sucks and I want to flee" And I'm Not Sure The Direction It's Gonna Go, I Don't Even Have An Ending For It Yet Either Really , .It Basically Follows A Young Woman Named Marilyn Who's Finally Able To Move Out Of Her Ultra Religious Parents House And With This New Found Freedom Is Entirely Unsure What To Do With Her Life Now As An Adult 

It's Basically A Way For Me To Deal With My Own Personal Frustrations And Fears About Religion And Fear Of Trying To Leave That Religion Behind,It's Nothing Serious Yet But I Made One Whole Page For It After I Felt Really Upset And Maybe It'd Be Good To Like Continue Drawing For It? It Did Kind Of Made Me Feel Better After Drawing The Whole Thing Down.. I'm Not Entirely Sure Where To Post It Yet Either Though 

Anyway I've Been Going To Church For A While Now Since I Don't Really Have A Choice Because Of My Parents And Whenever I Do Get Asked To Go To Church I Always Say No But It Never Really Changes In The End I Always End Up Back At Church Whether I Agree Or Not, At This Point I Don't Know Why They Ask Me Questions Like These As If I Have A Choice .For Some Reason Being In Church For A Long Period Of Time Makes Me Cry Like A Lot In Public Too

Homes Not So Great Either As My Mom Likes Watching Religious Debates Between Muslims And Christians Which Is Frankly Upsetting Considering She Has A Muslim Boyfriend And I See Her Sometimes Actively Going Out Of Her Way To Debate Him Through Messages On His Religion Against Him ,I Wouldn't Care So Much If She Didnt Say That She Really Wanted To Break Up With Him And Yet She Hasn't

I Hate Having To Live Where I Have To Constantly Lie About Things Related To God Whether Or Not I Believe In Him Or How My Mom Says The Devil Is Controlling Me Whenever I Cry At Church Or Just Do Something Wrong In Her Eyes I Hate That I Can't Turn My Back On My Parents And Just Start Living A New Life With Them Out Of The Picture Entirely Mostly Because I'm Still A Kid And I Don't Really Have Anywhere Else To Run To .They've Cut Me Off My Own Friends ,Safe Places I Could Go To ,This Year Has Just Been Exhausting For Me I Don't Have Anyone To Turn To Besides My Partner And Theyve Been The Only Person I Even Talk To Outside Of Family

I'm Trying To Find Comfort In My Art/Comics And I Want To Show It To The World Though I'm Not Sure Where I Can Post My Pages And Stuff Yet But Writing This Made Me Feel Less Heavy? I'm Not Sure Yet But Uhm Yeah My Art Has Been Making Me Feel Better It's Good To Have Somewhere To Just .Vent My Frustrations Into