Finding yourself after a depressive episode

This is actually a happy rant loll. Last year I was severely depressed and I even ended up in the psych ward because it got really bad. After I got out I kind of started to experiment with my look because my parents isolated me from the world for like 6 months and I actually started to think I was pretty!

I think January of this year is when I was enrolled back into in-person school and I found a group of friends instantly and ended up dating one of them loll. The friend group and the boyfriend ended up being complete dog shit but, I learned soooooo much about how I interact with other people, how I handle conflict, and how those 6 months of isolation really changed how I operate outside of the house in general. 

Even though I wish I wasn't isolated for half a year I do appreciate what I did for myself during that time. It forced me to grow a strong ass self-concept because, I was literally all I had. I actually learned what being yourself actually looks and feels like and it's honestly the best feeling in the world. When I started to feel more confident about myself finding what I wanted to be as an individual felt almost compelling. Like idk external validation definitely feels nice but, I don't really care for it anymore. I also kind of like how I'm okay with being by myself for long periods of time now, loll.

I don't have  lot of friends right now but the ones I do have I love so so much. I have friends that I can actually trust and that understand me as well as I understand them and I ever really had deep friendships like that other than with my best-friend since 4th grade loll. 

Idk if anyone cares or anything but, if you're struggling with your mental health right now I understand how you feel completely. I still have pretty bad episodes sometimes but, what keeps me okay is by recognizing that growth isn't linear. You can feel like you're almost fully healed and then one thing just unravels it all but, that's healing even if it isn't fun. Healing isn't about just not being depressed or anxious ever again. It's about recognizing your triggers and open wounds, evaluating them, and learning how to cope while you process what triggered you. I don't want to sound corny or anything but, I'm really passionate about mental health and I just want everyone to know they aren't failing but growth is just not linear.