Fml

My profile is highkey miserable sigh but here we go yet another vent. Yall don't even have to read these I just would like to type out my feelings. 

I am genuinely sick and tired of being alone. I try to make friends but it's so hard and idk why. I feel like I'm the issue. I've tried to reach out to people and I've tried to have a conversation with people and everyone just acts like I'm so weird especially irl. I tried to be friends with this one girl at school and i guess she was just uncomfortable around me or something and so I Never tried to go up to people at school ever again. I made her a bracelet and a little hello kitty out of beads and she accepted the bracelet but when I tried to give her the hello kitty I hadn't even noticed she walked away from me and left the classroom so I was kinda talking to myself and God that just embarrassed me so fucking much. NEVER AGAIN. this is why I wait for people to come up to me, but I wait and it never fucking happens. Nobody thinks I'm cool except for my parents and it just hurts I don't know. Maybe I'm sensitive and overthinking everything but why won't anyone approach me?? I try to be nice and I try to be talkative and I listen when people want to ramble to me about their interests I just dint know what's wrong I'm weird I guess. The only person I talk to who kinda understands me is my dad. I can't talk to anyone else about my issues because I'm scared of being brushed off but these feelings are real.... I swear I'm not being sensitive. 

I just feel like a weird loser. My middle school and high school years were so lonely. If I did have friends they never had classes with me because I made them through my best friend who had classes with the in the first place. Now I'm out of highschool and it's even harder to find people. I feel like a literal ghost, especially when I'm with my best friend. Everyone notices him and everyone interacts with him because I guess he has this natural fucking charisma and I try not to but I'm really jealous because I TRY and he doesn't even have to for people to interact with him. Like I'm happy for him too honestly I don't want him to be lonely or feel unlikable but I can't help but be jealous. I dunno I also just always feel dysphoric and it is making my life miserable. Fml fml fml fml fml all I do is work and when I come home I sit on my couch and watch YouTube all fucking night or play borderlands because no none wants to talk to me and then I sleep. And the cycle repeats